Monday 15 October 2018

Green men may land on the Emerald Isle

EOGHAN WILLIAMS THE Canadian cult which controversially claimed to have cloned three human babies has suspended plans to locate an embassy in Ireland for its celestial leaders to park their silver space craft.

The Raelians say the green men from the planet Elohim will not descend to earth until a landing site and consular quarters are built to receive them.

The President of the Irish Raelians, Emmet Glynn, says the Elohim, who share their planet with Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha, would rather dock their UFOs in Jerusalem. But the Israelis have denied landing rights to the cult, which sported the swastika as its first symbol. Now the Raelians have adopted a squiggly Star of David as their logo, but Israel still won't grant the road map to earth.

The president, who is a UFO enthusiast involved with the Raelians for spiritual reasons, said previous reports that Ireland was too cold for the spacemen were rubbish. The Elohim are peace-loving creatures and it would not compromise Irish neutrality if they were to use our airspace.

The Department of Transport said it has received no communication from the planet Elohim or its earthly representatives.

There are currently 50 Raelians in Ireland, with members handing up to 7 per cent of their incomes to the cult. Membership here has swollen since the group claimed it had cloned the first human baby in December.

Rael, the cult's earthly leader, gave up a career as a motor journalist, when a UFO visited France to tell him that he was half-Elohim and was a brother of Jesus, who he later met.

Amongst other unconventional doctrines, Rael - who lives in a theme park in Quebec called 'UFOland', which was built using members' tithes - says we will all soon be sexually serviced by endlessly compliant robots known as 'nanobots'. This will remove the curse of human jealousy.

Meanwhile, President Emmet Glynn says the Irish need to start taking Raelians and their message far more seriously.

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