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Saturday 25 November 2017

10 things that will inevitably happen when the clocks go back

Amy Molloy

Amy Molloy

The clocks going back can feel a bit like Groundhog Day, as every year people ask the same old, reliable questions.

Here are ten things that are bound to happen this weekend:

1. The texts and calls from mammy

Irish mothers always seem to get awfully panicked about this event.

The “Don’t forget to switch your clock back” text is inevitable, as is the reminder call on Saturday night, and the check-in call on Sunday morning to make sure you actually did it.

2. Pleading with the bar man to keep serving you for an extra hour

Every year, without fail, people will question if the time change affords us an extra hour of boozing.

And every year, nobody seems to know the definitive answer.

Unfortunately, various pub owners confirmed to that they don’t change the clocks until after closing time.

People in rural Ireland are likely to be unaffected, as “closing time” actually means “when the last people decide to go home.”

3. That one person who will turn up early to work on Monday morning

There’s always one.

Johnny or Mary show up early to work on Monday and blame it on the clocks going back, despite it being 2016 and our smart phones automatically changing the time for us.

Truth be told, Johnny and Mary are just a pair of eejits.

4. The fabled extra hour in bed

Everyone praises the extra hour in bed like it is the best thing since sliced bread, but we still wake up at the same time anyway thanks to our internal body clocks.

On a Bank Holiday Sunday, it is just one more hour of a hungover, painful existence.

5. Googling if your smart phone automatically changed the time

You know full well it did, but that nagging paranoia still lingers and you have to check, just to be sure.

6. Bemoaning how dark it is in the evenings

The very person who puts up a Facebook status celebrating the extra hour in bed, will have a post on Monday evening complaining about how early it gets dark.

7. That one person who doesn’t change their car clock

We all know someone who can’t be bothered updating the car clock.

You dislike travelling with this person as you end up suffering a mini heart attack when you think you are an hour late for an event.

These people believe it’s more practical to leave it until the clocks go forward, so then you don’t have the effort of changing it again.

8. That other one person who doesn’t know if the clocks go forward or backwards

How hard is it?

“Spring forward, fall back,” god dammit!

9. Eating more because your body clock doesn’t know what’s going on

Your stomach is wondering, how can it still be another hour until lunch?

Which results in you having a pre-lunch lunch and putting up an extra 2lbs for the week.

10. Parents hating their children for not understanding they can stay in bed for another hour

It’s 6am on a Sunday morning and the kids are running around the house screaming.

Our poor parents, that’s what they get for all those reminder texts and calls!

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