The Soapbox: Secrets & Spoilers
Dumpings, canoodlings and unwanted advice
Coronation Street After bandying about the racial slurs of late, the last thing Paul should be doing is lamping Lloyd outside the Rovers (pictured). Someone's made another complaint to his boss, you see, so he's quick to blame the cabbie and bop him about the head.
Baby Jake's home and – predictably enough – Gary has some issues facing fatherhood, so it's down to Izzy to help him bond with the little 'un, 'cause she hasn't enough to do doing.
Stella asks Leanne to be bridesmaid, which is a great idea given she hates Karl; Tracy messes up, leaving Rob dismayed, and we haven't been given an update regarding Audrey's damp patch, so let's assume all's well there.
EastEnders The ramifications of Tony's impromptu prison note start to take hold of Whitney: she dumps Tyler, ends up bedding Joey and has Kat Slater trying to talk sense to her before she hops into a car filled with random lads.
Lucy Longlegs becomes Janine's minion, while Michael has to field further flirtations from Danny.
Prepare yourselves for the sight of Jean getting on down with Bobby Ollie, and Carol giggling like a schoolgirl when Masood returns.
emmerdale Someone in the prop department needs to give Cameron a black cape he can lurk behind while in the presence of the mourning Dingle clan this week. He could swirl it around himself and Debbie mid-embrace – instead, they're canoodling in full view of Charity and Cain.
Rhona tells Vanessa to go get herself a boyfriend, which is bound to go down well, while Nicola has to stomach a double date with Bernice and Steve.
Elsewhere, Laurel's still on the edge.
Fair City Doug's day in court takes a surprising turn when the Brennans barrel up en masse. He may have nearly died, but his mission and this storyline remain the same, so expect to see Tommy merrily driving a wedge between Judith and Luke.
After being forced to sell some jewellery to make ends meet, Leo has an awful scare. His face may not convey this, but trust us, he's rattled.