The Soapbox: Secrets and Spoilers
Duped daughters and the odd topless scene
Coronation Street Hayley receives some disturbing news regarding her test results, which she chooses to keep to herself – lest Roy cobbles together a Battenburg and charges around the Red Wreck in his jammies again.
Norris realises there are certain downsides to owning a home, while Eileen and Mandy decide it's time Paul and Lloyd started talking again – because they had so many deep and meaningfuls before the latter spouted his controversial racial comment.
EastEnders Lucy's lengthy limbs are all a quiver this week as Joey declares he's not that into her – for the umpteenth time. Then, when she's all moist of eye and trembling of lip, Ian swoops in to dupe her into signing the Beale empire back to him.
Shirley, in her neverending quest to be alluring to the opposite sex, gets herself hammered at The Vic's speed-dating night. At least Jean is allegedly getting some action, in the form of a random man from the allotments.
Elsewhere, Roxy cops that Alfie's divorce papers have turned up and he has no intention of signing them.
emmerdale Apparently, Rhona's limp ponytail is primed to lash another heart. First Marlon, then Paddy, and now we're being led to believe that the vet's man-eating mate, Vanessa, is harbouring feelings of an amorous nature.
Brenda's determined to go ahead with her surprise ceremony involving the unassuming Bob; Gennie becomes more suspicious of Cameron now that he's back with Debbie; and Laurel is determined to locate her carjacker.
Fair City Charlotte – being a Bishop – manages to emotionally blackmail Callum into going out with her.
For those of you still utilising the image of Callum wandering about the Brennan's in his manties, I'm afraid this week we're only being treated to Paddy sitting alone in his flat, topless.
The Hungry Pig's getting a new manager, and it's not Jo; Orla mulls over her feelings for Wayne; and Ama drops the clanger that she doesn't believe in sex before marriage. Damo will be waiting a long time, so.