Monday 23 April 2018

OMG! Louise is, like, the best

ll Hats off to Louise Johnston, the glamorous reality show performer, who has been deemed by The Dubliner magazine to be the most eligible woman in the capital.

Men will be queuing up to step out with the, ahem, star from Fade Street. And why wouldn't they?

As the magazine sagely puts it: "OMG she's, like, totes gorge."

We are not sure what this young person's babble means, but we assume it's positive.

ll A rib-tickling tweet from Church of Ireland Bishop of Cork, Paul Colton: "Gotta love things said to the Bishop. Lady carries rose bush into church this morning. 'This isn't for tickling your bottom, bishop!'"

ll The cost of living is rising, but we are happy to report that the cost of dying is dropping.

The Wexford People reports that €500 has been knocked off the price of gravestones.

Hughes Monumental Works put up a sign with a picture of a headstone: "Was €1950 Now only €1590 -- while stocks last''.

Die quickly or stocks might run out.

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