Wednesday 21 February 2018

Cry me a river, but don't do a Nicki...

Ed Power

Ed Power

Do

Pull exaggerated facial expressions during a singer's performance. If you are impressed, nod vigorously and invite fellow judges to join in. Otherwise, feel free to roll your eyes and and wince.

Don't

Be excessively cruel where the performers are children or old people. Nobody looks good beating up on kids or pensioners. Unless it's Britain's Got Talent. In which case, knock yourself out.

Do

Clash loudly with a fellow judge, which is always great for ratings. Unless it's Simon Cowell. Because he can probably fire you.

Don't

Actually swear out loud at another judge, as Nicki Minaj did at Mariah Carey on American Idol, adding 'I'm gonna knock you out'.

Do

Behave as if this season's show is the most important thing to happen in the history of music. Since last season's show.

Don't

Let the audience know that, deep down, you're pretty sure none of this year's contestants will be heard of again come March.

Do

Get all teary eyed during a show-stopper ballad.

Don't

Nod off in the judge's seat – unless Jedward are putting in a guest appearance. In which case, who could blame you?

Irish Independent

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