Monday 19 February 2018

A little tipple makes them all sound sweeter

Andrea Byrne has taken to drinking her way through 'X Factor' -- and suspects that she is not the only one

ANOTHER day, another friend suggesting you join a particular Facebook group. Usually, I don't give them a blind bit of notice, but last week, one caught my attention. "It's easier to get rid of Chlamydia than it is Katie Waissel" is now a very popular Facebook account.

How popular, I bet you're wondering? When I last checked, it had 235,000 fans. Yes, you read that right. And no, I didn't join. Even I found it distasteful.

It's a little disconcerting that competing in a light-entertainment TV show can potentially turn you into a death-threat-receiving national hate figure. OK, so she's a grating, precocious, fame-hungry drama queen with offensively bad roots and a chin like Jimmy Hill, but death threats? A little extreme, don't you think?

Katie Waissel was even booed loudly by the X Factor studio audience, forcing Xtra Factor host Konnie Huq to intervene and ask the audience to refrain. While I dislike Katie, I really didn't mind that it was Aiden who was sacrificed instead of Katie last Sunday. Aiden hurt my ears and my eyes. And Katie sang better in the sing-off.

Last night, we were treated to yet another literal song from Katie, she sang Help -- though, in fairness to her, she sang it well. The new image suits her too.

Maybe it's just me, but I reckon that TV audiences have now taken to drinking their way through the X Factor. My theory is that it's so bad a few tipples reduces the guilt of sitting down to watch it. When Wagner sings, I'm compelled to move from wine to shots. I contemplated a second round when Louis told Wagner he reminded him of a young Elton John. And he was serious. Which reminds me, whoever the eejits are who insist on voting for Wagner each week, please stop. He's creepy and talentless, and if the tabloids are to believed, he's quite fond of benefits, too!

With an Elton John-themed show last week and a Beatles one last night, Simon Cowell is succeeding in turning the X Factor contestants into bad tribute acts. I get the impression that, this year, Simon & co aren't too sure what they're doing, and are content to wing it each week. Take Mary Byrne, for example. From the outset, the judges have implored her to be more modern, and yet last night she was forced to sing a song from the Sixties. Talk about mixed messages.

Am I wrong in thinking that the object of this show is to find a unique, exciting contemporary artist who has the potential to make it internationally? Making them sing along to Hey Jude and Crocodile Rock is not how you nurture and develop raw talent. Speaking of which, Mickey Mouse herself, aka Cheryl Cole showed a distinct lack of musical knowledge when she admitted that she wasn't aware of the song Crocodile Rock. And this is the woman who's judging a music contest. Oh dear.

Matt, Rebecca or boyband One Direction will be crowned this year's winner. Rebecca is my personal favourite. I actually well up each time she sings, but maybe that's the effects of the wine and the post-Wagner shot. Rebecca has a unique, soulful voice and seems quite sweet too. But if I were to bet, I'd put money on One Direction. They have all the hallmarks of a good boyband, and anyway it's impossible to out-vote horny teenage girls.

Matt's good too, but we're not sure he can dance. Mary B will probably be eliminated in the next two weeks, and while Cher Lloyd has certainly improved each week, she won't win. To use the judges' favourite phrase, she just doesn't have "the likeability factor". Then there's Paige, who, a bit like Mary, will be cast aside pretty shortly. But who will go tonight? Please, for the sake of my liver if nothing else, make it be Wagner.

The 'X Factor' results show is broadcast tonight at 8pm on TV3 and ITV

Sunday Independent

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