Top five: Male Models
As Barry Egan talks to Aisling Quinn and her male-model boyfriend, Ashley Duane, Pat Fitzpatrick looks at famous male models
1 JAMIE DORNAN
Who says Irish boys aren't gorgeous? We do, reply 98pc of the women in the world, hugging their photos of Matthew McConaughey.
It was a rhetorical question, ladies, there's no need to be so cutting. Jamie hit the big time in the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. Some say that ladies openly liking the movie and the book is the latest stage in female liberation. Really? Maybe somebody should ask them: "What was it that first attracted you to the cruel and emotionally distant billionaire Christian Grey?"
2 TYSON BECKFORD
Tyson is of Panamanian, Chinese and Afro-Jamaican descent. And there you were, thinking you're exotic just because you have an uncle in Manchester. It turns out that Tyson is regarded as one of the most beautiful men in the world. He could be number one if he had a bit of Irish in him. That would be the bit of Irish we got from randy Spanish sailors, as against the mad look that suggests that one of our ancestors had actual sex with a potato.
3 ASHTON KUTCHER
Ashton was a model for brands like Calvin Klein. He famously used to swap lovey-dovey messages on social media with his wife Demi Moore, 16 years his senior. That's just wrong. A 40-something woman on Twitter. Mom, seriously, go back to texting. Poor Demi didn't know how to react when rumours surfaced about Ashton's cheating. It probably didn't help that she grounded him for a week and changed the password on the Wi-Fi. #LikehisMom
4 DAVID GANDY
You'll have seen him in those filthy Dolce & Gabbana ads. You know, those ones where he's on a dinghy with a hot model in a sun-drenched Mediterranean cove, wearing a tiny pair of white briefs. I'd love to do that, says you, forgetting about the dangers of skid marks. Not to mention the dangers of a booze cruise coming around the headland, to the tune of Get Your Tits Out For The Lads. I love that song, said no woman, ever.
5 ROBERT PATTINSON
Started out as a teenage model known for his androgynous looks. That's 'hungry little girl' looks to you and me. We're not sure why that should sell anything. But we know from Mad Men that advertising types like a drink in the morning. That might explain it. Robert recently appeared in public with his girlfriend FKA Twigs, who was wearing a penis dress. We don't know anything else about her. Other than she is probably not an accountant.