Soap of the week: Coronation St
Gail may have chronic relationship woes, but at least she didn't go from her serial killer straight into a relationship with a human trafficker.
Eileen's many romantic misfortunes include her kids' fathers, plus famous faces including Sean Hughes, John Thomson and Les Dennis.
Please log in or register with Independent.ie for free access to this article.
There was also a racist fireman, and - most infamously - psychopathic Scouser Pat Phelan. Just when she'd sworn off men, he of the bushy locks arrived.
If Eileen watched EastEnders, she would've known Jan was equally keen on manhandling roofs as he was abrasive blondes. While he may have wielded the name Konrad at the time and was trying to woo one Shirley while exploring her top floor, he seemed a kind sort.
Therefore, he caught us and Eileen unawares when he arrived on Corrie to help Gary patch the factory roof. He seems nice, we thought. We should've known one sporting such a ponytail couldn't be trusted.
We've since learned that Jan is involved in the trafficking of salon workers. Something he would've got away with had Seb not fallen for (yet another female version of himself) Alina.
This week, Seb's hospitalised after trying to make contact with his squeaky-voiced love interest. When Eileen calls Jan for help, he claims he's in Birmingham. What he didn't bank on was the sensitivity of Eileen's BS button. With her gut compelling her to swing by the salon, she catches Jan, but will he come clean?! He does. In a brutal fashion...
This week in Soapland
Charlotte attempts to beat Ritchie at his own game but her plan backfires - spectacularly. While Decco reveals harrowing insider information about Ritchie's work methods, an emotional Charlotte persuades her brother to trust her... is she about to sacrifice herself for the sake of her family? Hayley has her doubts about Erica but the rest of the family support Darragh's decision to get back with her. Meanwhile, the loan shark backs Lee into a corner, leaving him to play silly buggers with Carol's seed money....
With certain storylines being more closely guarded than the crown jewels, all we have is this to offer regarding Phil's attack this week: "Tensions run high at the hospital as the Mitchells rally around Phil's bedside and as one person learns a shocking truth, they're left dumbstruck. Meanwhile, the police close in on a suspect as the evidence stacks up against them." Elsewhere, the pressure starts to get to Mick; Callum is at a loss at how to write his vows because he'd rather be penning them about Ben; while Chantelle frets about Gray seeing her modelling Whitney's designs online... Oh, Gray. He always was too good to be true.
Seb's thrilled to get a text from Alina asking him to meet her at the salon but, as he arrives, he's confronted by Nikolai and winds up in hospital (thanks to Jan, who's meant to be in Birmingham). When Imran reveals the bail hostel plans have fallen through but Claudia's unaware, Toyah's uneasy as she realises he intends to rip her off. Gary and Ryan come to blows when some stashed money goes missing, while Mary's shocked to discover Evelyn is marking prices down on shop goods she wants to purchase herself. Wait till she finds out about the gambling ring.
Outside the factory remains, the insurance rep arrives and Rishi worries how he will repay the high-interest loan he borrowed from Kim. His shifty behaviour has his kids suspecting he may have started the fire (really, it was Amy and Kerry being feckless). Debbie is surprised by Sarah's pragmatism as she encourages her to move to Scotland (but not as surprised as Vanessa when she learns the full story) and things go south for Robert.