Wednesday 17 January 2018

'Did she just take a stone out of her bra?' - The reaction to last night's First Dates Ireland

Vicki Notaro

Vicki Notaro

After a stellar first episode and a slightly disappointing second one, telly lovers waited with baited breath for last night’s episode of First Dates Ireland… but they should have renamed the show THE FRIEND ZONE because for the most part, there was no bloody romance! Let’s recap…

First in to the restaurant of lurve was Stacey from Cabra in Dublin, single after a six-year relationship and raging she’d had his name tattooed on her wrist. She said she was looking for “the love of me life”, but had one rule right off the bat – no funny business with her extensions, right? 


Her match was Neil, a carpenter turned personal trainer from Tallaght. Twitter didn’t like his “soul patch, but thankfully it disappeared between his interview and the actual date. Neil said his biological clock was ticking, and he was going to propose to his ex but never quite got around to it. 



Stacy is a woman that knows what she wants right off the bat, ordering the wine and telling him what to have for his dinner. Was that fear in his eyes or appreciation?

They seemed to have a good time, and Stacey was quite the smitten kitten by the end, loving Neil’s teeth and eyes. However, despite her being a “birra craic”, Neil wasn’t in to it in a romantic way and just wanted to be friends. 


It turns out that he didn’t like her taking over the date, but sure didn’t he flirt with her anyway. Stacey blamed Dublin men and their game playing – perhaps she’ll be back to meet a nice country lad?


Next up was Jordan the hairdresser and Barry from Ratoath, where he’s one of only four other gays in the village. However poor oul’ Jordan didn’t cop that Barry was his date right off the bat, presuming he was straight. 



Barry revealed it was his first date ever at 22, and that he googled what to talk about with men in such a scenario.


The lads soon bonded and were high-fiving over Adele’s “sex anthem”.


However, again it was another case of friend zoning, because Barry didn’t think Jordan was the type of man to bring home to his mammy. Eh Barry, you missed out on a good one there, dude. 

South African Kirk entered the restaurant with an announcement about loving pens - 

but not the clicky ones, mind. His date Carolyn is easily bored in love, and looking for a guy with manners that can make her laugh. 

Straight away Carolyn as unimpressed with Kirk’s date etiquette because he had the audacity to need a wee during the starter. And she would not. Let. It. Go.

Kirk let it known that he isn’t in to ladies who give it up too early… oooookay.

Despite seeming to hate either other, Carolyn actually fancied Kirk despite her opinion of his manners. 

But she was also friend zoned despite Kirk having an “all right” time. What is with these guys?!


The next dater Sunita said she loves an element of mystery and intrigue in a man. She also carries crystals in her bra for happiness and sexiness. 


Her date Tony is not in to sex on the first date. After losing his mum to suicide, he now campaigns for mental health awareness, which the two soon bond over. Things seem to be going well…

But while Sunita thought Tony was totally husband material, she didn’t feel the raw animal attraction she was looking for, and the friend zone was entered once again. 

However, she did have eyes for the hunky bearded Canadian bar man… something tells us to watch this space.

And last but thankfully not least was birthday boy Sean and student teacher Lucy.  Sean falls in love too easily, but he’s not been put off dating. God loves a trier, Sean. 


Lucy normally goes for fit lads with super high standards, and thinks she’s unlucky in love. “I feel like Cupid sees me coming and shoots his arrows in the opposite direction”. Ah, pet. 

Lucy says she’s not your typical “flirty Bertie”, but she was delira that Sean was ginger and she must have done a good job because in the end, cupid’s arrow struck!


All is not lost! THANK GOD FOR SEAN AND LUCY! 

First Dates Ireland is back next week at 9.55pm…

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