Sunday 18 March 2018

Comment: Craig Doyle - rubbish on TV and in bed

Craig Doyle
Craig Doyle
Craig Doyle hosting his RTE show
Kirsty Blake Knox

Kirsty Blake Knox

I had almost forgotten Craig Doyle existed, until this week.

And then there he was in The Sun and The Mirror talking about RTÉ, and bad sex.

According to Craig, working with the national broadcaster is akin to having "appalling sex" with the "girl next door".

"[She] lives around the corner and she's like your best buddy," he explained.

Craig Doyle hosting his RTE show
Craig Doyle hosting his RTE show

"And then, years later, you meet her again and you're single and she's single. And you get together but then the sex is really appalling…RTÉ was that girl."

Yuck. How long do you reckon Craig has been working on that analogy? I'd guess ever since Craig Doyle Live tanked.

Throughout his TV career, Craig has been adroit at shifting the blame for his TV failures.

When he missed out on getting RTÉ's Saturday night slot, which went to Brendan O'Connor, he blamed the schedule.

"The Saturday slot was probably a bit straight for me," he said afterwards.

Yea, that was it. Everyone knows Saturday night is the straightest TV slot going - it's why ITV get po-faced duo Ant & Dec to fill it.

When The Social also failed, he blamed the research team - telling reporters "it was absolute shite".

When critics gave out about his next show, Craig Doyle Live, he said: "The TV critics don't work in television. Who the f*** are they?"

Here's a thought, and Lord knows it would have saved RTÉ a lot of time and money, perhaps Craig Doyle isn't such a great presenter. (Although in fairness he was excellent on those double-glazing ads).

Perhaps, he's just your average, middle-class bloke with not much charisma but lots of self entitlement.

His "appalling sex" comments are totally in keeping with Doyle's delusion. He suggests that despite his valiant efforts - the girl next door was a let down in the sack and in some way responsible for his sexual shortcomings.

But it's not the girl next door, it's not RTÉ, the critics and it's not the viewers.

It's not us Craig, it's you.

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