Tuesday 20 February 2018

'You wouldn't get a kick in a stampede' - the reaction to this week's First Dates Ireland

Brian and Sarah on First Dates Ireland
Brian and Sarah on First Dates Ireland
Vicki Notaro

Vicki Notaro

After the crushing disappointment of Ireland not qualifying for the Eurovision Song Contest final, the fourth episode of First Dates Ireland was there to soothe our souls, making us laugh, cry and cringe.

Would we see more action than last week’s friendly episode?


First in to the restaurant, Tommy Tiernan-alike Ciarán isn’t very confident – the poor pet was mute around girls until after the junior certificate. But he’s determined to rep for the shy guys out there, so found himself in the restaurant to meet champion Irish dancer Katie who’s been single for three and a half years.

After an awkward start, Ciarán made the massive faux pas of ordering ribs on a first  date and then telling Katie her company was “pleasant”.


Wee Ciarán is a hopeless romantic, but Katie says she likes romance in a more “individual way”, whatever that means. Despite his shyness though, Katie thinks there’s more bubbling beneath the surface and said she’d like to see him again. Success!

Reformer cheater Brian is a bit of a player but wants to change his ways. He’s not used to rejection. His date Sarah has been living abroad and isn’t used to dating Irish lads. All she wants is “funny and not stupid”, so in fairness Brian didn’t have a lot to live up to. However, Twitter didn’t warm to his attitude much.


And Sarah didn’t seem too impressed off the bat…


Sarah lost the audience though when she gave herself peace signs in the mirror while pouting – and then she called Brian a culchie. Way to alienate yourself, bbz.


Brian was immediately quite the smitten kitten, breaking all his own rules and fawning all over Sarah.

An aspiring novelist, she wasn’t short of confidence herself, even eclipsing Brian’s high self-esteem. He robbed a neighbouring table’s wine to impress her, and it seemed to work – they were holding hands by the end and Brian described Sarah as “perfect”. Could this be the first First Dates wedding?!


40-year-old Gareth normally dates “Barbie” kinda gals, and while his date Rebecca is blonde, she’s hardly a dolly bird. It’s been seven years since her last date, and she’s looking for tall, dark and handsome so on the surface, these two are a match made in heaven.


Separated five years from his wife, Gareth revealed himself to be a father-of-two and got tearful thinking about his kiddies – cue female hearts breaking all over the country.



Rebecca’s just back from living abroad and has found all her mates settled down in her absence. But after a couple of serious break-ups, she’s holding out for Mr Right. Things got a bit awks with Gareth two thirds of the way through the date, with him revealing that he ears 20 eggs a day and spends most of his time in the gym, while Rebecca is a bit more of a party animal.

She was reluctant to throw all 20 of her eggs in to one basket, but Rebecca agreed to a second date. If last week’s episode was unsuccessful, this week everyone is on fire!

Barista Eoghan is a bit dense when it comes to realising women fancy him. Would he be able to put out the vibes with his date Karen, whose mates say she could fall in love with a toothbrush.

But straight away, coffee came between them. When Karen revealed she doesn’t even drink it, Eoghan’s little face fell.


Fund accountant Karen is fresh from a quarter life crisis, while Eoghan declares himself “a bit useless” but he wants us all to know that he likes both boobs and bums, and that Karen is ticking his boxes. Even though she doesn’t like coffee.


Eoghan even thought he could be the cure for Karen’s insomnia, the cheeky brat. But did he realise she was interested in him? Apparently so! Yet another match made in the Gibson.

Last up, Noelle is looking for a funky looking lady that’s not too OTT. Her date Shem is an extrovert, but dating terrifies her. On first impressions, things seemed to be going well.

Shem tells Noelle she doesn’t like people touching her hair, so Noelle touched her hair – and then revealed that her own short curly hair is the result of battling cancer last year. The conversation then veers from the serious to the ridiculous – discussing their favourite ice cream flavours.


People at home were rooting for them, but there was no spark beyond “drinks and banter”… Boo!

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