'Why can’t they just give Marty Morrissey his own show?' And six other questions raised by Dancing with the Stars…
Week two of Dancing with the Stars 2018 is over, and honestly, we’re still buzzing.
Ladies week was a triumph, and the proof was in the scores. But there are so many questions. Who came out on top? How good were Nicky Byrne’s jokes? Why couldn’t they make room for a little more Marty Party? Let’s dig in…
1) Where can we buy Anna Geary’s hurl?
The Anna Geary red hurl (a prop, obviously – there was no actual hurling involved) garnered a lot of attention online. And, then, Nicky Byrne threw a, ahem, ‘glitter sliotar’ into the mix. It is exactly as it sounds. And there could very well be a market for it.
2) When will Eamon Dunphy sign up for Dancing with the Stars?
Did you hear Amanda Byram, teasing Maia Dunphy’s arrival? “Her surname is Dunphy,” declared Amanda, “but her first name is not Eamon. That would just be weird.” OMG. No, it wouldn’t, Amanda. It wouldn’t be weird at all. Eamon Dunphy is the hero that DWTS needs. He is the hero it deserves. Sorry to get wrapped up in all of this, but we can’t help it. We’re picturing Eamo doing the tango. We can see him performing a wonderful waltz. We’re getting the campaign started now. #DancinEamo2019
3) Are the ladies better dancers than the gents?
Based on the first Ladies Night, and last week’s Men’s display? Yes. Yes, they are. It reflected in the scores. It reflected in the performances. It reflected in the personalities (an emotional Norah Casey sort of stole our hearts). Less clownin’ around, more actual dancin’. Anna Geary killed it with a tremendous tango. Alannah Beirne brought a little magic to proceedings with a delightful Moon River-themed waltz. Deirdre O’Kane’s rockabilly jive was just fabulous. The lads are in trouble.
4) Is Erin McGregor going to win Dancing with the Stars?
It’s possible. Heck, she scored a bloomin’ 23 (that’s top of the leader board, in case you were wondering). The second-most famous McGregor slayed it with a storming salsa on her first night. Stage fright? What stage fright? Her brother, Conor, was mentioned (several times, in fact). If Erin carries on this way, we probably won’t be hearing any more about him. Wouldn’t that be something.
5) Should producers give Marty Morrissey his own show?
Yes. Yes, they should. It wasn’t until the Marty Party (Nicky’s new name for Dancing with the Stars’ most valuable player) finally showed up - after 100 bloody minutes - that the, erm, Marty Party got started. He was wearing shorts. The rest of the boys were decked out in army gear, but Marty (who had the initials ‘MP’ stitched into his top), bless him, looked ready for a fishing trip. He also told us he’d celebrated his first week on the show with a round of chicken wings in Eddie Rocket’s with the gang. The Marty Party keeps it real, folks.
6) How are Nicky Byrne’s comedic skills holding up after a stellar first week?
Very well, actually. He stood on a step ladder while interviewing Allanah and Vitali (they’re quite tall). He referred to them as DWTS’s “twin peaks”. He made a Jimmy Choo joke, too (you had to be there). He politely informed the blokes of the Twitter consensus - that the ladies had put the boys to shame tonight. All he has to do now is learn a few more tricks from Deirdre O’Kane (or Bernard O’Shea), and he’s flying. We cannot wait for the Nicky Byrne Stand-Up Tour.
7) What was the story with that weird army dance routine at the end?
The one with all the boys, we mean. Yeah, things got a little bizarre for the lads’ obligatory group dance at the end. Marty lifted weights. Marty kissed his biceps (the Marty Guns, presumably). He also performed push-ups. We couldn’t tell you what everyone else was up to. Once you’ve seen Marty Morrisey doing all of the above on live television, you’re pretty much stunned for life. Bring on Week Three…