Secrets and Spoilers: Cilla, Comas and comeuppances...
FAIR CITY: Judith is off to work in Namibia, leaving Caoimhe to regress into her typically teenage form, with all the sulking, and the pouting, and the accusations that her mum is abandoning her children even though half of them live over the other side of the world anyway.
Paul is determined to get some money back off Jane; she still owes him after pretending she had cancer. As luck would have it, she's come into a bit of money courtesy of her ex-partner, who actually did have cancer.
EASTENDERS: Just when things were going OK for Stacey, she has to go and get romantically involved with Dean - AKA her boss and the person directly responsible for Linda's trauma the last couple of weeks. How do they get togevvah? Well, Mick decides to play match maker and invites her and Dean for some drinks upstairs in The Vic, leaving Linda horrified. Meanwhile, the whereabouts of Shirley Gummidge is unknown. We suspect she's hiding out in a field of corn.
CORONATION STREET: Surprise, surprise - Cilla's back! But it's not the Cilla we're used to; this one's got a plastered wrist and a charming disposition. Liz busies herself visiting Jim in prison, telling him (again) that it'll be "the last time", when he informs her he's moving to an open unit and will therefore be able to pop in on her whenever he wants. Peter finds out his fate; Owen informs Anna they've to be out of the house in a few weeks and Kylie finds herself in hospital with her bessie mate who's ODing.
EMMERDALE: The last thing we saw is a rather female looking form bopping Charity over the head with a log (how many more hits can her noggin take?!) so it was obvious it was Jai (or Rachel). This week he wakes up in hospital after being in a coma for four days. Meanwhile, Megan gets Leyla to admit to her affair with Jai... Moira (AKA Rose West without the glasses since she got her hair shorn) is busy trying to get Charity off the farm, before realising she's quite handy to have about. New(ish) family alert: this one contains Robert Sugden... Cue Katie feeling ever so confused.
Sheena McGinley is an editor at entertainment.ie