Tuesday 16 January 2018

Michelle's giggles stole our hearts on First Dates Ireland - but she left the restaurant without love

Michelle and Stuart
Michelle and Stuart
Vicki Notaro

Vicki Notaro

It’s week five in the First Dates restaurant, with more singles looking for love.

In a week that was full of mammies, sarcasm and self-sufficient women, the results were a mish-mash of hits and misses. Let’s recap…

First in to the restaurant was sky diver Damien from Limerick, who gave up his job to “live the dream”. His date, single mum Dia, was looking for something more than the toy boys that approach her. 

She doesn’t have a checklist, but she knows what she doesn’t want – her men to be thieves or criminals. Fair enough, like. She doesn’t need her Prince Charming because she’s a self-sufficient gal, but she does want one. She’s half Cuban, half Russian but she’s in to Irish lads in a big way. Again, fair enough. 

The eldest of five boys, Damien made the mistake early on of bringing his mammy in to it. Allegedly testing Dia, he called her at the table to gauge his date’s reaction. Right so. 

Damien is perplexed by women, but clearly didn’t understand that mammy ringing is never a good idea. Come on, dude!

Dia seemed to enjoy photographing her food more than chatting to Damien…even though she claimed she doesn’t eat a lot. Twitter was quick to pull her up on that one…

…and despite thinking Damien was very nice, she didn’t feel the spark. Poor Damo got friend zoned, but he took it well. 

Next time man, don’t ring your mam! 

74-year-old Tony was a hit right away. He’s still looking for love, while great granny Lexi, 75, has been single for nearly 20 years. She wants her very own Elvis, but can Tony love her tender?

In perhaps a damning indictment of millennial appetites, the pair were awed at the sight of the burger and chips delivered to a neighbouring table. 

Tony is an oul’ messer, which Lexi seems to admire. It didn’t take long for the bold talk to start, with Lexi wanting people to know that people in their seventies are still in to sex, while Tony says he’s “still firing” thanks to Viagra. Ahem. 

There wasn’t a dry eye in the country when Tony spoke of losing his wife nearly thirty years ago. They met on a blind date and were married for nearly two decades. He’s been in a couple of relationships since, but he’s still looking for Ms Right. 

But very sadly, Lexi wasn’t in to Tony’s smooth moves and was quite direct about it. Don’t worry Tony, Twitter absolutely fell in love with you!

The Rebel County’s very own Laura says her deal man needs to be tall, smart and outgoing, while Dub Adam is worried he’ll be left on the shelf at 25. However there was tension right away when Adam referred to Cork as “the country”, while Laura declared it to be the real capital of Ireland. 

Right from the get go, the banter was NOT mighty between Laura and Adam. In fact, they seemed completely at odds. However, it might have been the case that Adam was a bit bowled over by Laura’s good looks – apparently he doesn’t normally go for gals so glam (eyeliner goals, in fairness)

Adam and Laura
Adam and Laura

In fact, Twitter seemed to think he was getting on way better with the very lovely waitress..

However there was a glimmer of hope when they found out they were both only children and animal lovers. Oddly enough, Laura had never met another solo kid before.

By the end, Adam was smitten, but it was very unclear what Laura thought as she said yes and no several times. However when she articulated that she did in fact like him, he went in for a kiss. 

If it doesn’t work out Adam, the gals on Twitter sure liked you…

Next up, Martin is an outgoing kind of guy, demonstrating his finest dance moves and swearing (quietly) that has a very loud personality. He’s not in to rules or boring people. Meanwhile, his date Cian is Martin’s type physically, but might he be a little bashful for our extra loud guy? 

Cian is not normally one for second dates while Martin just wants the wine with the kangaroo on it. 

Michelle and Stuart
Michelle and Stuart

They discussed coming out and polo necks, talked about their mams and pizza, but nobody could quite keep up online.

Again, it was unclear if they liked each other at first because apparently Irish people aren’t great at sarcasm. But in the end, they went to 777 for a birra Mexican, and according to the show, have been dating ever since. Result!

Next up, Michelle swore she woudn’t “do her laugh” on national telly, but her giggles won her legions of fan right away. She’s another one from the “I don’t need a man, I want one” school of thought, but thinks she doesn’t have one because she’s a bit “mad”. Not one for dates, she’s nervous about any potential awkwardness.

Stuart has been single for five years, and seems quite perplexed by that fact. He has a child and has been focussing on his son for years. Michelle then shocked everyone by revealing she has three kids, and two of them teenagers. 

Michelle says the girls have nicknamed her F*** Off, as that’s her response to most fellas that approach her. However Twitter was in love with her right away. 

Still, Michelle wasn’t feeling it. Something tells us she won’t be short of dates if social media was anything to go by – as long as she can hold her tongue when the lads chat her up. 

A hit and miss kind of night, we’ll be back next week with more First Dates Ireland!

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