Lads. Never have I shouted at a screen as much as I have this season of Love Island. Why? Mostly due to the double standards on display.
Look no further than the situation between Davide and Ekin-Su. Did she kiss two people during Casa Amor? Nope, he did. Yet she is the one who is getting all the grief. She is the one who's not to be trusted.
OK, so she did (literally) crawl up to the terrace to kiss Jay, but she'd only been there a wet week at that point. Davide was the one giving it socks under the covers with Molly while Ekin was batting her bed buddy George away.
The most upsetting part, however, was when Davide was shown describing Ekin as a "heavy weight" around his neck, and her head immediately went to that place.
As for where their relationship is right now? Well, Ekin was proper gutted while Davide was still banging on about Ekin's "beeeehayvyoooor" like she's the problem. Then they had a laugh at the mini firepit, got peer pressured into kissing by Dami, and then they obliged by horsing into each other for an inordinate amount of time.
The not-so Silence of The Dams...
Last night's instalment of Mad Movies and the resulting fallout was quite the eye-opener. Dami, for example, knew what was coming and yet still felt entitled to throw shade from the offset after Ekin-Su's video snippet aired, saying "On your best behaviour, yeah?"
This is from the boy who suggested a three-way kiss and was getting on down with Summer under the covers during Casa.
And yet, somehow, he managed to plummet lower in viewers' collective estimations later in Monday night's episode. He called Summer over to clarify the three-way kiss and their connection during Casa to Indiyah. It ended with Summer walking away after pointing out that he led her on, Dami saying "Summer, I thought you were real... you're fake, man, shut up, man", before stating "It's all in her head".
Instead of running for the hills, Indiyah fell back into his arms after having a moment to process the proceedings. One can only assume she was still in shock.
Dami finally pulled Summer for a chat for a sorry-not-sorry apology, where she had to remind him to actually say sorry.
Luca lords it over Gemma...
Also suffering from a major case of Tis One Rule For You and Another For Me-itus was one Mr Bish. He still managed to feel he'd been hard done by despite it being noted by the girls that "he egged everybody on (in Casa) so he could remain squeaky clean".
And there I thought Jacques was this season's answer to Jake.
Things proper kicked off when Gemma and Billy were shown engaging in that rather mild moment of flirtation while they were scoffing crisps in the kitchen. Luca was so fuming after watching the clip, all he could say was "I'm fuming".
Mind you, he also managed to spit: "Look at her, with a smile on her face. An embarrassment," which wasn't at all unnerving. Afterward, all the boys were suggesting that "Billy wouldn't try if he didn't think he stood a chance." What's next, "no means yes"?
In short, we are living in a world where the ADAM "flagged by Women's Aid in the UK" COLLARD is coming across as the most respectful boy in the villa. How in the name of all that's holy did we get here?
Tonight sucked and blew...
The challenges are coming thick and fast this week, with no less than three of them in the last 24 hours.
Challenge number two involved that old chestnut of sucking a card while passing it to the person beside you with your mouth. Whoever drops the card has to do the dare on said card.
Indiyah bossed it, partly thanks to her "powerful lip gloss". Luca had to have Adam explain what riding one's coattails means (in this instance - who is using their partner to get to the final and land a load of cash).
Naturally, Luca chose Tasha, which resulted in Andrew being well miffed. Well, that and Dami gave him a foot rub because he thought he was the most walked over by his partner. Andrew tried standing up for himself but got bullied into submission.
Deji wants to "put 100pc into" Danica. His words, not mine. Apparently, he sees her as "wifey material", so she proceeded to interview the life out of him and he did pretty well. He certainly impressed Twitter.
And, let's face it, Billy totally pulled a Josh and started giving Danica attention because a) she was the only single-ish person in there and b) he saw how flexible she was in the gym. So they had a bit of a fumble under the covers – which she (initially) described as a kiss, while he said she "touched his pipette" and he returned the favour.
Later she admitted to Indiyah and Summer that the Salon had opened and both were clients. Meanwhile, in the Beach Hut, Billy admitted he's not sure if he's that into her. Sound.
Finally, it was time for Snog, Marry, Pie. Edited version: Luca and Dami got all the pies (even Indiyah pied her partner), while Adam got all the snogs. As for how the girls faired? You'll have to wait until tomorrow night.