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Love Island Episode 32: Recoupling condensed – in full. Yep, the entire thing, no cliffhanger


Love Island Liam

Love Island Liam

Love Island Liam

WITH each passing night, it's becoming increasingly clear that the Casa Amor contestants literally gots no game...

For example: despite being coupled up with Matthew and Clarisse, Kaz and Tyler are still engaged in "connection" negotiations and flagrantly throwing their endless litany of "chats" in their partners' faces.

Both Matthew and Clarisse have been more than patient and accommodating, but there's only so much subservience the newbies will take. Like, Clarisse woke up crying this morning...

Liam makes a holy show of himself...

It comes with the territory when it's Open Mic Night. In case you didn't read the beautiful ditty Liam and Jake penned for Millie: "You may not have me stuck in your back in bed, but you're always stuck in my head." You know, if anyone required further evidence that Liam only thinks with the contents of his pants.

Given that tactic didn't quite work, he then jumped on stage... for singlehandedly the most cringe PDA ever. But Jake did get in on the action/camera time, even putting a hand around Millie's neck to ensure she didn't leg it anywhere.

I'll spare you the "booty" of his words (because it went on FOREVER) and I couldn't really understand half of what he was saying apart from the clear sentiMEnt. Did it work on Millie? Unfortunately, yes. "Liam's book of poetry of 'Cute But Not Enough' is available for Christmas pre-orders" I wish I could lay claim to that aside, but it's the sterling work of Iain.

In additional happenings...

Toby pulled Chloe aside for a chat, and brought "snacks", so that's him back in there – never mind him ditching her for Abi, who he ditched for Mary, who he's now ditching for Chloe. This "boy" trades on his youthful and near-moronic adorability far too much... there will come a time when being such a big eejit won't be so cute. Again, for him to woo a girl he "mugged off" to epic proportions right before a recoupling. But, d'you know what, she took him back...

Video of the Day

At this rate, he probably expected his puppy eyes to make Mabel melt, resulting in an invite to the tour bus. Speaking of which, Mabel fulfilled her contractual obligations with Spotify by performing in the Villa. Shapes were thrown. Yes, slo-mo shapes - a lot of which were probably shot after Mabel made her speedy exit.

Recoupling condensed...

Listen, I know it's hard to help how you feel, but - MAN - these boys are getting away with murder. Producers always commence proceedings with the most obvious, so...

• Lib went first and chose the biggest fire starter in there.

• Kaz went with *drumroll* Matthew, because he's "trustworthy". She then appeared to throw Tyler cheeky wink.

• Despite everything, the tears and the consternation, Clarisse stuck with Tyler.

• Faye went with Teddy

• Amy chose Hugo because they "unintentionally match outfits." She also threw in a surprise "I'm excited to go on this journey with him in here and beyond."

• Millie, after everything, took Liam back. EW.

• In even more ewiness, The King of Fickle, Toby, managed to get Chloe to choose him...

• And the cringe continued with Abi choosing Dale.

• Mary was severely miffed to be saddled with Sam. The entitlement was emanating off her in WAVES.

Tweet of the night...

Key takeaway...

For Liam, "sorry" evidently is the hardest word.

Love Island returns tomorrow at 9pm on Virgin Media One and Virgin Media Player

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