Love Island 2019: Maura and Curtis share a leaba - plus we get a few more words out of the Limerick lad
Amber was annoyed. And she had every right to be. First, she's ordered to "sit down" by the man she was coupled up with, then her best mates head off to hang out with him. It's almost as if they're scared of him...
First, let's address the "sit down" comment. Of course, Michael wasn't being domineering, that's not in his nature.
Instead, he was merely being super concerned regarding Amber's choice of footwear.
In an attempt to make amends regarding his brusqueness, he said: “When I came over and told you to sit down, it was because you had been wearing heels all night and I didn’t want you to walk anywhere else. I am apologising if it came across in a bad way." Naaaaawwwww... But you "told" her all the same.
Amber, the supreme queen she's proving to be, was her usual articulate self, saying: "I just think you really need to think about the way you speak to me, because it comes across really badly... I knew you before and you never spoke to me in a way that made me feel upset."
On a positive note, at least Michael was man enough to admit that he has been "taking all my frustrations out on" Amber. And this wonderful moment was brought to you by – yes – Ovie. He was "the one person" who confronted Michael over his behaviour.
MAGIC MIKE PART II
Hopefully yis were all poised over the mute button in time to quash the schhhluuurping noises out of Anna and Jordan. Is it any wonder their fellow islanders voted for them to spend the night in The Hideaway? Jordan is clearly looking for a sideline in stripping because Anna was treated to a private performance, complete with feather duster and general gyrating action.
Not my handiwork, swear, rather that was the title producers gave to tonight's challenge, which saw the girls lead their partners, who were blindfolded and dressed as dogs, around a Crufts-style agility course. The boys then collected all the treats along the way, and the couple who completed the course in the fastest time was the winner.
As has become the norm, Tommy and Molly-Mae were suitably chronic at the challenge (as were, well, everyone), with the top prize going to Francesca and Chris, which was quite the feat considering the former doesn't know her left from her right.
TO THE NEWBIES!
Finally, the three newest islanders – including Limerick's own Greg O'Shea – finally got a bit of action, with Harley choosing Ovie and India choosing Chris.
While Harley and Ovie collectively stumbled over their words and tried to conjure something resembling chemistry, "puppeteer" India (she's not a puppeteer, she's just "crazy and wild" from Reading) showcased her trademark hand action to an impressed Chris. When he finally deduced she wasn't used to having her hands up anything, they shared a larf over some model poses. Such poise, Chris, such poise.
Isn't it nice how producers always coerce the newbies to take the ones who've had little or no action out on the first date? Therefore, it came as little surprise that Greg's date of choice wasn't Maura, in fact it was *drumrolls* Amber. Where did he bring her? ONLY THE HIDEAWAY.
Someone who was invariably heaving a collective sigh of relief tonight was Greg's family in Limerick. Speaking on Today FM's Muireann O'Connell Show this lunchtime, Greg's sister Laura said she and the rest of his family were left suitably floored upon seeing him enter the Villa last night. They thought he was still in France after a game of rugby at the weekend!
After giving themselves a crash course in the wonder that is Love Island, they're probably slightly relieved he didn't bring Maura to the Hideaway. Some things your parents don't ever need to see...
• He may not know what a "common denominator" is, but Tommy's got the measure of Molly Mae when saying "Did it ever occur to you it might be you?"
• If I hear "Hello, friends" ONE. MORE. TIME. You know what I'm talking about...
• Anyone else appreciating Chris in a kimono? Just me?
Hopefully, we'll FINALLY MEET GREG, MAYBE?!!? And so will Amber – you know – after she finds a way through that glass door.
Love Island continues on Virgin Media Two and ITV2.