Wednesday 24 July 2019

Love Island 2019 EP 34: Amber thinks there's still a chance, Maura gets shafted and Anton steps on his own ball

The girls choose the boys with whom they want to recouple on Love Island. PIC: ITV
The girls choose the boys with whom they want to recouple on Love Island. PIC: ITV
The lads await their fate at the recoupling. PIC: ITV
The Love Island contestants take a selfie. PIC: ITV
The girls watch the challenge unfold. PIC: ITV
Ovie takes part in the challenge. PIC: ITV

Sheena McGinley

Well, isn't Amber like a new woman since last night's Heartrace Challenge?!

Considering Joanna's crawling attempts at seduction didn't pique Michael's pulse rate, one might even say Amber's "won" – whatever phantom competition Michael seems consistently obsessed with.

Still in denial regarding his "not ideal" bodily reactions to his ex, the fire-fighter tonight said he reckoned he was merely "feeling awkward" at the prospect of Amber's performance. The Villa's resident stripper extraordinaire – Jordan – had this to say by way of advice: "I think she [Amber] is very much still into you. From what I’ve seen, you and Joanna don’t have as much chemistry as you and Amber did. If you did change your mind, there would be nothing wrong with that.”

In the Beach Hut the layman stripper added: "I'm not sure I see him and Joanna with the same amount of energy as he and Amber."

WE GOT A HUH-HUH-HUH HIDEEEEWAY

Finally, someone utilised The Hideaway! After the steamy challenge, Maura received a text, which read “Islanders. Tonight, the Hideaway is open. It’s down to you to choose one lucky couple to have a sleepover. #privatedance #aloneatlast” Everyone unanimously voted for the two people who've already been there – Molly-Mae and Tommy.

Viewers may recall it's where they first clapped eyes on each other across the clammy confines of the world's most redundant jacuzzi. Speaking wistfully in The Beach Hut, Molly said "It’s where me and Tommy first met, it was like we were revisiting an old friend. We had our first little jacuzzi date there!" Before she weighed up her options with Anton and Danny before settling for Tommy after Hurricane Higgins arrived and made a beeline for her fella. But I digress. They're happy out now and that's the main thing, innit.

Did they pull a Megan and Eyal and do it? Nay.

RECOUPLING CONDENSED

You may recall that last night I said: "There's a recoupling – BYE MARVIN". Well, tonight we indeed say goodbye to the "damaged door" enthusiast Super Marv. He was always the favourite to leave considering he was in possession of have minus bants.

Without further ado, here are tonight recoupling deets sans simpering speeches.

New girl Francesca got to pick first. After suddenly cultivating an attraction to Marvin (possibly for televisual purposes), it was a toss up between him, Ovie and Curtis. Of course, she picked Curtis, leaving Maura 'RAAAAYGIN'"

The remainder of the recoupling was a bit of an anticlimax given the predictability and went thusly...

Joanna coupled up with... Michael

Anna coupled up with... Jordan

Molly-Mae coupled up with... Tommy

Belle coupled up with... Anton

Amber coupled up with Ovie... (YAAAAAAY!) but just as friends (boooooooo....)

This left Maura the slim pickings of newbie and Nick Grimshaw doppelganger, Chris, or the boy she brought from Casa Amour and dumped shortly thereafter, Marvin.

TONIGHT’S TAKEAWAYS

• Tonight, the Islanders had a "glitter party." In other words, everyone looked like they'd been shat on by Guy Diamond.

• Anton's footwork is something to behold.

OVERALL VIBE...

TOOOMORROOOHHW NIIIIIGHTAAAAAH...

"D'yE wANt tA SNEaAaykE InTA My BEd W'eN shE FaLlS ASLAAAAYp???"

Love Island continues on Virgin Media Two and ITV2.

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