Monday 19 August 2019

Love Island 2019: Ding dong, Mr. CHALDISH is gone... plus things proper heat up between Amber and Greg

Michael on Love Island. PIC: ITV
Michael on Love Island. PIC: ITV

Sheena McGinley

YAAAAAAAAS. Obviously, Michael's departure (which extended to Francesca as she was forced to couple up with him in the first place) was but a small portion of tonight's show. SO much other stuff happened.

For example, Jordan (AKA he of a hundred conquests) decided to make things official with Anna because their attraction to each other (and the possibility of £50k) was just so strong they couldn't contain it anymore.

Jordan wanted to make it as personal as it could be on national TV with millions of eyeballs gawping at them, so led her on a jaunt down memory lane, bringing her on a tour the villa exploring all the spots where they "made memories."

Indeed it was a bit cringe, but – hey – "man's now gotta girlfriend", and if it wins them a few extra votes, why begrudge them.

AMBER AND GREG GET FRISKY UNDER THE COVERS

Greg and Michael are poles apart.

Michael literally ate the face off Amber during a challenge despite all the stuff that went on between them (it's almost as if he was trying to wear her down), while Greg wouldn't even kiss her when the lights went out or while in the lofty confines of the Terrace. After four whole days of zero action, they finally shared a kiss under the covers – beside Michael. T'was Karma in motion.

CURTIS GOT FRUITY WITH MAURA, WHILE CHRIS MADE A MOVE ON HARLEY

Finally, A DAAAAYAAAHT!

Curtis received a text summoning him and his latest lady love to gather themselves together for some alone time. It read: "Curtis and Maura. It’s time for your first date. Please get ready to leave the villa. #getfruity #squeezetheday”

What followed was truly the banalest few minutes of Love Island ever made. Like, even the crickets passed out. Then again, maybe we were just expecting more after her cracking knicker comment.

Chris, even though himself and Francesca are honed for each other, put the lunge in on Harley.

Indeed, this is the part of the series that everyone starts flinging themselves at each other like it's final orders at The Last Chance Saloon. Cynicism aside, are we buying them as a couple? Not entirely.

Chris and Harley, Michael and Francesca, Jordan and Anna were the three couples with the least amount of votes by the public. As has become mandatory, it was left up to the Islanders to decide who to save. So, for one of the final times, here's who voted for who.

Maura and Curtis chose to save... Anna and Jordan

Molly and Tommy chose to save... Anna and Jordan

Ovie and India chose to save... Chris and Harley

Amber and Greg chose to save... Anna and Jordan

Belle and Anton (close to tears what with Michael being involved) chose to save... Anna and Jordan

AS FOR MICHAEL'S DUMPAGE???

Upon his exit interview, did Michael acknowledge just how fickle he had been?

Yes aaaaaand no... When asked what were among the highlights of his time in the Villa, the firefighter said: "Making some of the best friends I’ve ever made and doing some of the funniest challenges ever. Making a friend in Amber, and also finding Joanna." See what he did there? Friend-zoned Amber (like it was his idea) while keeping a door ajar for him and Joanna.

Responding to being asked if he'd made any "mistakes" during his time in the Villa, he said: "Everybody makes mistakes. Personal mistakes, no (?????).

"Everything I did was for me, but did I go about things in the right way? Not all the time. But I have reconciled things with Amber and at the end of the day, I’m only human." Wowsers. He's like the Politician of Love.

He was also queried on how he felt about Amber and Greg, to which he replied: "I did say I didn’t see Amber and Greg lasting but having spoken to her since I have seen more of them and seen how nice he is... I said she needs to get to know him and give him a chance." Cheers for giving them your blessing, bud.

Lastly, what of Joanna: "I’m going to try and talk to Joanna but I know that she’ll have seen what’s gone on and I hope she understands I needed to make up to Amber. There was always going to be a natural draw between me and Amber because of how friendly we were. I did think about Joanna every day that she wasn’t there. She was always on my mind and I will try to speak to her."

If Twitter is to be believed, she's already moved on with Jack Fincham off last year's run of the show, mate...

TONIGHT’S TAKEAWAYS

• Harley declaring "I feel like we had an audience" after herself and Chris schluuuhrped the chins off each other, was just so tone-deaf... Yes, you signed up to have an audience of millions watch you kiss someone else.

• Honestly, why weren't they put in at the beginning? They deserved to be ogled for longer!

EMBED

• Francesca getting booted out thanks to Michael was pretty rubbish. She deserved more and seemed genuinely sound.

OVERALL VIBE...

Can we just award Amber the money now and give ourselves the final week off?

TOMORROW NIIIIIGHTAAAAAH...

The Islanders have an influx of angry wild goats who start horsing into the plants (true story, but they may not show it), while Belle chucks water over Molly-Mae during the 'Headlines' challenge.

Love Island continues on Virgin Media Two and ITV2.

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