Yikes... Listen, we've never had two Irish girls on Love Island at the same time, so naturally, they're both going to go for the same fella. Hey, it is what it is; a highly orchestrated "reality" TV show.
onight, we saw two new contestants, Maura and Elma, decide who they're going to have for dinner.
While both girls have presumably seen some of the show before entering, one can assume they weren't privy to scenes involving Tommy getting coached on how to pour water on a teabag, or recruiting Curtis to whip up an omelette, as both of them picked him to prepare a meal. Maura had him for starters, while Elma will have him for dessert.
Instead of getting someone else to crack two raw eggs into a glass for Maura, Tommy devised this...
Turns out a man that can cook (or do anything for himself) isn't high up on Maura's list of priorities, who declared "Oh, the tings I'd do to dat man!"
DAN, THE MAN
As for the main event, Maura is choosing Danny to bring her second course on a platter – JUST when he was about to put all his eggs into Yewande's basket. Textbook reality TV.
Venting in the Beach Hut, the 23-year-old Dubliner said: "Danny got two dates! Can I catch a break?" Being a sound sort, she's opting to handle it with grace – unlike Molly 'I fancy, like, everyone' Mae. Speaking of her partner's two dates, she said: "It’s just typical isn’t it? Me and Tommy have been doing really well the last few days.” You know, when she wasn't trying to crack on with Danny, or Anton.
Speaking of Anton, he was pulsating with excitement at the prospect of having a main course with Elma. Bleating in the Beach Hut, the uber-smooth Scot said "My prayers have been answered finally! I’m absolutely buzzing about it." After being "pied" by Lucie, Amber, Anna, and Molly-Mae, Anton thought he may as well go for broke and give Anna another whirl, now that Sherif's pulled a Keyser Soze. His efforts did not pay off...
Anton got caught up in a snowball of his own bullskitter, which went a little something like this: "As much as Molly is my type, she’s beautiful from the outside-in, you’re beautiful on the inside and out. You’re not necessarily my absolute type on paper but Molly, who is someone who is my type, I still wouldn’t want to be with someone like that." Hellew pot, this is kettle.
CURTIS TELLS AMY TO MIND HER OWN...
Amy is starting to be a cause for concern. After kind of, sort of, making it half-official after nine whole days, the 26-year-old serial singleton has accused Lucie of stealing her "thunder." After trying to bring Lucie "back to the group" because she's "always with her boyfriend", Amy was put out because her (unsolicited) efforts weren't well received.
Speaking with Curtis afterwards, she decided to make things more awks, saying "I’m annoyed that they (Joe and Lucie) stole our (exclusivity) thunder and if they interrupt your ceremony of asking me to be your girlfriend... " Woe betide anyone outshining the bride on her big day!
Trying to make light of it, while deploying a dose of reality, Curtis jibed "You need to stop being an attention-seeker, missy.” Instead of realising she's being a muppet, Amy retorted: "I’m not being an attention-seeker but it was OUR exciting thing." Curtis replied “Maybe they’re doing it because they look up to us? Think of it like that rather than they’re copying you or stealing your limelight... It’s none of your business."
Amy then proved she wasn't an attention seeker by bawling upstairs on the terrace surrounded by all the girls.
Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run...
• Lucie knows how to put someone back in their box. Replying to Amy's manufactured "thunder-gate", the surfer casually said, "You’ve never had a boyfriend before so it’s a really big thing for you."
• Tommy keeps asking Molly-Mae to cut his toenails and pluck his eyebrows and Michael to shave him... which means his mam does it all at home.
• Twitter is seriously repentant for misjudging Amber. They'd now swap Amy for her in a heartbeat.
• General consensus regarding the two newbies...
TOMORROW NIIIIIIIGGHHT... Drama. Rama. FINALLY!
Love Island returns to Virgin Media Two and ITV2 tomorrow at 9pm.