So. It's safe to say Maura likes Tommy... I would repeat all the phrases she's used verbatim ("The TINGS I would do to that man!" "I can imagine screaming his name" and the slightly less nuanced "I wish he was AYTIN' me" and "I'd wrrrrap me legs around his neck") but we'll give her a pass because she's finally injected a smidge of Georgia into the building.
Last night, when the two new girls made their entrance, Danny looked like he was peaking on a vat of Jammy Dodgers; the quivering and pupil bulging. While everyone seems to be fairly "meh" when it comes to new girl Elma (kudos must be given to her for saying "Skinny jeans aren't my 'fing, personally" to Anton. Somebody had to... his legs resemble chicken drummers on roids), Danny lashed on the cheese during his main meal with super-sassy Maura.
Elma: “H-“— Fionnuala (@FionnualaJay) June 13, 2019
Anton: “I CAN CHANGE, MY FASHION CAN CHANGE, I REALLY THINK WE’LL GET ALONG, WHAT’S YOUR STAR SIGN?!”#loveisland
During dinner, Maura queried how Danny was getting on with fellow Irelander, Yewande, to which he said: "One of the things that attracted me to her was her Irish accent." Subtle. By way of response, Maura brogued "REALLY, D'YE LIKE THE OIRISH ACCENT?!", to which Danny naturally answered "Yes. It's incredible."
Now that we've all stopped heaving en masse, it's time to address the Ring Girl in the room. Danny was pretty much grasping at anything he could fling at Yewande after some of the terrace-thronged posse started heckling the dishy dates. Maura, again – like she did with Tommy – seemed keen to point it out to both Danny and dessert date Michael, uttering "Why are they being so immature? This is embarrassing."
This gave Danny the chance to give prospective partner, Yewande, a grilling. Afterwards, in the Beach Hut, he grappled with more straws, saying "I saw Yewande participate in something I wasn’t keen on." Eh, no, she was merely on the sidelines. As ever, she handled everything with humour and grace.
Danny – like the life-saving scientist said – "I'm sure they are lovely. They came in really confident and they set the atmosphere for themselves. Everything after that was just a reaction to what happened. Every action has a reaction. It’s just the laws of physics, likes."
• Future opponents of Tommy Fury should take note; his head swivels easily. At pains to convey just how much his head's turned for Maura, the boxer said "I’ll be honest with you. When I saw you and went on a date with you, my head did a 560-degree turn." Dude. 180-degrees. 180.
• Curtis can rock both the Danny Zuko AND the Indiana Jones leather look.
• Molly-Mae's self-confidence is quite remarkable, but her self-awareness could do with some tweaking. Tommy had every right to go on a date with the newbies; after all, they requested him. There's the small matter of her blatantly playing the field "getting to know" everyone when she first came in. Conversely, Tommy needs to rein it in. Twitter was awash with the term "toxic masculinity" after he responded to Molly's barrage with "You're acting like you're in love with me right now."
• Michael, stop with the "I can’t be dealing with childish geeells." You pulled out chairs and let yourself be fed by a randomer. Amber's 21 and she's understandably insecure. Give her a break – there is a DIAMOND under all the defensiveness. PS: Lad, go have a chat with Curtis, he'll give you some perspective... especially since he slid into Maura's DMs earlier in the year to say "you're really good looking." She never responded.
TOMORROW NIIIIIGHT: "Does she turn you on like I do..." You'll NEVER guess who says dat?!??
Love Island returns to Virgin Media Two and ITV2 tomorrow at 9pm.