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Step away from the hashtag


No safety net: Stop it Madge, you're boring us

No safety net: Stop it Madge, you're boring us

No safety net: Stop it Madge, you're boring us

Nothing makes young people feel alive like sighing theatrically at older people who can't get the hang of social media.

Which is why we shouldn't be too hard on Fidelma Healy Eames and her #sexualorientation; she was only trying to be cool, people, don't all frape her at once. Or Madonna and her smorgasbord of hashtag misfires and wrongly used street slang (it's 'ratchit' Madge, not 'ratchet').

Grandma M, for all her alleged savvy, could definitely give our Fidelma a run for her money in the social media cluelessness stakes. She's been getting it wrong every which way for months now, but unlike Fidelma it's not #kindofsweet.

After her incredibly crap album was leaked she uploaded a picture of a broken iPod which was supposed to be some sort of metaphor for her broken heart. She then posted pictures of icons like Martin Luther King, Jesus, and Salvador Dali with S&M facewear photoshopped onto them as some sort of lame album promotion.

People were outraged but mostly, it has to be said, just bored. (As Guardian writer Peter Robinson put it, "Accidentally blundering into cultural appropriation rows isn't controlling the media, any more than accidentally shi**ing yourself in the queue at Tesco is displaying masterful bowel control".)

It's little wonder that there are already spoof Twitter accounts imagining Lourdes in Saffy-from-Ab-Fab style trying to disconnect the internet to save her mum's flagging career. But the reality is that Lourdes is away at university and you can be sure none of Madonna's yes men are going to confiscate her phone. And for people who think she can still be great, sometimes that is totally #worrying.

Donal Lynch

Sunday Independent