Wednesday 22 November 2017

'That interview saved my life' - listener credits Ryan Tubridy's 2FM interview with John Connell with preventing his suicide

Ryan Tubridyreceived an email from a listener who said his show had prevented him from taking his own life
Ryan Tubridyreceived an email from a listener who said his show had prevented him from taking his own life
Aoife Kelly

Aoife Kelly

A listener to Ryan Tubridy's 2FM radio show has credited the broadcaster's interview with John Connell about depression with saving his life.

Tubridy interviewed the author on Tuesday morning about his battles with depression as a young man.

The listener today emailed the show to thank Tubridy for the interview which prevented him from taking his own life as he had intended that morning.

Tubridy read out the email on air.

It said, "The other morning I packed myself into my car and to the whole world it would have seemed like I was heading out to work, although on this occasion my pockets were loaded iwth painkillers and antidepressants.

“You see, on this occasion I was on a mission of self-destruction borne out of the pain of living and yet quite by chance the radio was tuned to Tubridy and on comes John Connell, on a radio station renowned for pop music and, dare I say it, nonsense at times, but that interview saved my life."

The listener went on to reveal that he had been a victim of abuse at the age of nine, which led to more issues later in life.

"As a young boy of nine I suffered abuse, something I hide from the world, something I couldn’t face, something that gave me so much guilt, something that changed my world forever," he said.

"Later in life my guilt manifested itself in addiction – alcoholism and compulsive gambling.  Addiction always needs that pat on the back to say, ‘Well done son, you’re great’ but always that deep, dark self-loathing.

“Nine years ago I entered a treatment centre for the gambling and alcohol addictions and one day at a time I’m still clean and sober but that’s only half the battle. 

"That dreadful black dog creeps and crawls its way into my world.  The blackness it brings is so horrendous, a scratch you can’t itch, a pain invisible to all but me, a living hell.  The desire to self-destruct far outweighs the need to keep going."

The man described himself as "fifty-something year old" who sometimes "feels like that nine year old boy, afraid and alone at sea, running as fast as he can and not moving an inch".

However, he said he gained some insight from the interview with John Connell.

“And yet the other morning I got hope, hope to face that fear, to realise that help is out there just like the help I got to face addiction," he said.

"I just need to find the courage to ask for it, to not hide behind a smile, the one that blocks out people, the ones that truly care."

He said he had attempted suicide by various means four times in the past four years but "something has always saved me".

He said, "Today I’m looking at the world with just a tad of hope."

He said he was going re-engage with a counselllor and added, "As John said, there is a future.  The most dangerous place I can go to is into my own head alone.

"I need to use the services available and count the blessings I have and in no uncertain terms ask the good Lord to help me."

Tubridy responded to the email by simply saying, 'Well I don't need to say anything about that".

Anyone affected by depression or issues in this article can contact the Samaritans for free in the Republic of Ireland on 116 123 or Northern Ireland on 08457 90 90 90. www.samartians.org

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