Wednesday 17 January 2018

People are talking: Demi can't lose with mom bod

Itzy bitzy: Demi Moore (52) just happened to be looking fab and wearing a red polka dot bikini when she was pictured with daughters Tallulah (right) and Scout by the pool
Itzy bitzy: Demi Moore (52) just happened to be looking fab and wearing a red polka dot bikini when she was pictured with daughters Tallulah (right) and Scout by the pool
Taylor Swift - everyone now on her side.
No ordinary Joe: Channing Tatum

Sarah Caden

Yes, Demi Moore looked great in her bikini last week. She looked great, even compared with her two daughters, Tallulah and Scout, with whom she posed for a picture that Scout later posted on Instagram.

And, yes, they were also in their swimwear and, yes, while Demi looked great, you had to wonder why she was doing it. Of course, she was inviting comparison and, for Demi, that worked out fine. For a 52-year-old. Which is always how the sentence, "She looks great," is going to end.

What Demi really wants to hear, though, is that the three of them could pass for sisters. But what twentysomething, as Tallulah and Scout are, wants their mother to be mistaken for their peer? And what Demi's doing, with her gravity-defying chest and confident-bordering-on-defiant pose is tantamount to a sort of "hot or not?" contest with her daughters.

But then, what does Demi care? So long as no one's saying, "Jesus, look at that oul wan making a holy show of her daughters," then she's laughing. And if Scout's happy to post the picture on Instagram, with the hashtag mymomsbodtho, then great. She's not threatened. Sure why would she be? She's 23.

Come on, Shinners,  at least give us a clue

By Eilis O'Hanlon

Planning. Irish Water. Appointments to State boards. Political fund-raising. Collusion. EU lobbying. Local authority housing allocation.

A small selection there of issues on which Sinn Fein has demanded "transparency" in recent months. One thing not on the list: the reasons why the party kicked out two councillors last week in Cork.

Far from being up front and open about the reasons for the expulsion of Kieran McCarthy and the one-year suspension of Melissa Mullane, SF has retreated into traditional "whatever you say, say nothing" mode, leaving outsiders to guess what they could possibly have done to be cast into political darkness.

Did they forget to retweet one of Gerry Adams' "jokes" on Twitter or something?

The secret row has got so heated that entire branches of SF in the Rebel County have now resigned from the party in support of their expelled comrades, bringing a whole new level of crazy to the slogan "Ourselves Alone".

Will the last Shinner in Cork please turn off the light? It'll make it harder to see what's really going on in republican circles, but sure, that's just the way SF likes it.

And they still say they're the transparent future of Irish politics? You've got to laugh. Then again, they're also still insisting the left wing Greek government has the solution to austerity, so it's not as if they have a great track record of backing the right horse.

Well ... if it's good enough for the queen?

By Anne Marie Scanlon

Just as British prime minister David Cameron has vowed to cut back on benefits the royal family may have cause to worry.  New figures show that for the second year running the Windsors have cost the British tax-payer £37.5m - which is, by anybody's standards, quite a lot of state handouts. 

If that wasn't bad enough, it turns out that Buckingham Palace needs an overhaul costing approximately £150m.

Betty will have to move out while the builders are in but she'd be wise not to go too far. With London rapidly becoming a ghost town as foreign oligarchs drive up property prices, Mr Cameron might well be tempted to sell off Buck House for a tidy profit.

Perhaps Ireland could offset some of its debt by doing the same - surely TDs could relocate to a parish hall somewhere as no doubt Leinster House is still worth a bob or two.

The Sanctification of Taylor

By Donal Lynch

It must be so bewildering being Taylor Swift. Previously the most irritating personage in pop, for a brief shining few seconds everyone is on her side. Thanks to her Apple stance - she wants the company to pay performers for streaming music - she's basically being portrayed as Rosa Parks meets Eva Peron meets Erin Brockovich. The Daily Beast called her The New Prince (presumably meaning that she can fit into tighter trousers than any pop star in history).

The UK press just totally swallowed whole the idea that she's Scottish (trotted out by Taylor during a gig in Glasgow). And The Huffington Post ran an earnest feature, Why Taylor Swift Matters, which was basically just a list of her latest videos along with descriptions such as "this brought a winking self awareness to the tabloids' Swift obsession".

You can tell it's all balanced on a knife edge but what will be the moment that causes the world to turn on Taylor again? Will it be when she writes a bitter breakup song about a guy who she just met once?

Will it be if one of the magazines notes that her feet don't look pretty enough in her shoes? We just hope she's basking in the popularity while it last.

It's gonna be a Meh summer

By Pat Fitzpatrick

Welcome to the summer of Meh. Meh is modern shorthand for 'Neither here nor there'. It is used by middle-aged people on twitter who are trying to hide the fact that they are getting old. We are enduring the summer of Meh because of our old friend, the weather. He's been good to us over the last few years, with a decent collection of scorchers and washouts. It gives us something to talk about. But there is only one word for summer 2015. And that word is Meh. Temperatures are near average. The weather forecast will fill you with despair unless you are a fan of the words changeable, fresh and mainly dry. The general torpor isn't helped by the humidity, or as it's known locally, 'fierce close'.

This exclusively Irish weather means you can be both freezing and passing out with the heat at the same time. It's probably not good for tourism. This Meh has crept into other areas of Irish life this summer. There is nothing good on television. Unless you are excited by the Banking Inquiry, in which case we recommend changing your medication. The summer sport is about as interesting as watching Oireachtas TV with the sound turned down. There is no big soccer tournament and the usual suspects are crushing underdogs in the GAA. None of this would matter if the sun came out. So come on, Jean Byrne. A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Because it's fierce close.

Channing is no ordinary Joe

By Christopher Jackson

I've never quite known who to feel more sorry for, the talk show host or the guest. It seems that every other week Graham Norton and Jonathan Ross have to make awkward conversation with some big name actor, talking about how wonderful their truly awful film is. It's the worst, like a conversation between a mother and her teenage son after she's walked in on him prancing about in her underwear - no one wants to have it and they'd rather soon forget about it.

Stephen Merchant was interviewed by Norton a couple of years ago for Movie 43, a film so bad it's rumoured that the North Korean secret police play it on a permanent loop to torture political prisoners. Although Merchant talked well of it, you could see in his eyes that the man who co-wrote The Office was ashamed, like he'd stolen Christmas presents from an orphanage.

It probably is worse for the guest, the host only has to pretend for so long. The actor has to pretend forever, unless they don't mind working the graveyard shift at McDonalds. But sometimes they can't pretend any more. Channing Tatum couldn't, sledging GI Joe this week, a regurgitated dog's dinner of a film. But he can do so, he's more sought after than the Holy Grail. Let's hope he stays so.

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