Ireland’s favourite turkey said he would love to give Eurovision another shot after this year’s disheartening defeat.
Speaking to the Herald, Dustin the Turkey says he has learned many lessons from his controversial 2008 entry Irelande Douze Pointe.
The popular puppet had his say after Brendan Murray failed to qualify for the 2017 Eurovision final in Kiev earlier this month.
“Your man Brendan was like Daniel O’Donnell junior this year,” said Dustin.
“We’ve literally tried everything, from a turkey in a shopping trolley to even my ex Niamh Kavanagh.
“I’d love to do it again and I now know the formula to winning it.
“You don’t go out and insult every country competing. You go up and do a song about peace or uniting Europe and get loads of votes that way.
“If your lyrics include ‘give us another chance, sorry for Riverdance’, people will only think you’re having a laugh.
“The shopping trolley prop is still in RTE so I can definitely go again, don’t worry about that.”
Dustin added that everyone in Ireland should get a chance at competing in the annual competition.
“I think it should be in the constitution that everyone in Ireland should get a go at Eurovision at some stage in their lives,” he said.
When Johnny Logan won it back in 1880, there were only three countries in it – Luxemburg, the United Kingdom and Roscommon.
“He won the thing during the famine and was asked recently what he would like to see differently.
“He said they should bring back the live orchestra. What’s he on about? Bringing back an orchestra in the biggest, gayest, campest competition in the world? – ridiculous."
When asked how he thinks his panto co-star Al Porter will get on as host of TV3’s new adaption of Blind Date, Dustin said: “I think he’ll do absolutely brilliantly. I say it’s going to be a big hit and it’s a pity Stella Black isn’t alive because I say he’d do her proud.
“It’s funny because TV3 are doing something that RTE never did – making shows that people want to watch.”
Dustin is the new ambassador of Laya Healthcare’s City Spectacular festival, which will take place in Dublin’s Merrion Square on July 7-9 and Cork’s Fitzgerald Park on July 15-16.
Speaking at the launch, Dustin said: “I’m among one of the world’s top chat show presenters Ray Darcy.
"All his interviews are just spectacular. One time he interviewed....no that was Ryan Tubridy. Oh yeah, remember that time he talked to....no that was gay Byrne.
“I also met my long lost brothers ‘The Happy Pear’ twins, David and Stephen Flynn - two guys I love because they’re vegan.
“But to be honest they’re very, very dull, extremely insufferable.
“But no, they were great craic and very nice blokes... just as dull as dish water,” he said.