This potential Guns ‘n’ Roses reunion tour could be the greatest thing since some Cro-Magnon pioneer whacked one rock off another and made fire. On the other hand, it could be the biggest disaster since the same Cro-Magnon, five minutes later, set fire to the entire forest then covering Northern Europe.
But I’m going to be optimistic, and pick Option A. Whether it happens or not is still doubtful – Axl Rose basically personifies the term “capricious”. But assuming it does, here are six reasons why a G ‘n’ R reunion will rock like all get-out:
Easy to forget now – seeing as they have released one new album in over 20 years, and that was poor – but G ‘n’ R have a cracking back-catalogue. Appetite for Destruction forever has its place on the hard-rock Mount Rushmore, and Lies had three or four classics. Use Your Illusion, meanwhile, included about seven great songs, amidst some 419 crappy ones.
Guns ‘n’ Roses came across as properly dangerous and edgy. Not some manufactured edge, either, but a bunch of genuinely wild, damaged, borderline-criminal yahoos (read Stephen Davis’ biography, Watch You Bleed, for some truly hair-raising stories). And you know what? Music needs a bit of that right now, infested as it is with simpering wusses on one hand and “shock tactics” bores like Rihanna on the other.
The following video contains some choice language. You have been warned...
We all believe that the music of our past was better than anything since then. And you know what? We’re all right. Nostalgia is a mightily powerful force, and a G ‘n’ R tour would be like hitting the mother lode. It’s like the 1980s never ended…
Nobody danced like Axl. Nobody particularly wanted to dance like Axl, granted, but still. That slow, snaky sway – go on, admit it, you’re doing it right now, just by reading this.
Remember when Slash made top hats and spirally curls cool? When Izzy rocked a flat cap and waistcoat but somehow didn’t look like someone on day release from a folk group. And Axl was virtually an entire fashion movement unto himself. Kilts and big boots and bandana and white leather jacket, all worn together? Yes, it was every bit as hideous as that sounds, but give the guy credit – he was doing his own thing. So root out that old Confederate flag sleeveless tee-shirt and those castratingly tight leather strides.
Axl on a particularly tame day sartorially speaking.
It makes a change from all the other “heritage” acts plying their wares on the festival circuit. Seriously, if Leonard Cohen or Bruce Springsteen do just one more gig in this country, I’ll go postal.
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Ten miles outside town on a two-lane county road, just past the trailer park and across the street from Hank Williams Jr's place, there's a driveway with a poster that says: 'Re-Elect Sheriff Russell Thomas'. Beyond a gate, a dirt road winds around a small lake, past a 'Don't Feed the Hippies' sign, leading to a brown double-wide trailer.
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