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Friday 19 January 2018

The Oscars 2015: Neil Patrick Harris’s best and worst jokes

Host Neil Patrick Harris on stage at the Oscars (AP)
Host Neil Patrick Harris on stage at the Oscars (AP)
Eddie Redmayne poses with his Oscar for best actor nominee for his role in "The Theory of Everything" at the 87th Academy Awards in Hollywood, California February 22, 2015
Julianne Moore poses with her Oscar for best actress for her role in "Still Alice" at the 87th Academy Awards in Hollywood, California February 22, 2015. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson (UNITED STATES TAGS:ENTERTAINMENT) (OSCARS-BACKSTAGE)
(left to right) Winners of the Best Actor in a Supporting Role J.K. Simmons, Best Actress in a Supporting Role Patricia Arquette, Actress in a Leading Role Julianne Moore and Actor in a Leading Role Eddie Redmayne, in the press room of the 87th Academy Awards held at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, Los Angeles, USA
Sophie Hunter and Benedict Cumberbatch arriving at the Oscars ceremony in Hollywood
HIT: Director Sophie Hunter and actor Benedict Cumberbatch were hands down the best dressed couple on the night.
"Birdman" producer James W. Skotchdopole (L-R), Best Picture presenter Sean Penn, Director Alejandro Inarritu and producer John Lesher pose with the Oscars for Best Director, Best Original Screenplay and Best Picture at the 87th Academy Awards in Hollywood, California February 22, 2015
Alejandro Inarritu with his haul of Oscars for Birdman (AP)
Graham Moore's Oscar speech was quickly repeated on social media (AP)
Bradley Cooper and Clint Eastwood (R) pose for a selfie with Oscars made of lego bricks after the end of the 87th Oscars February 22, 2015 in Hollywood, California.
Tegan Quin and Sara Quin of "Tegan and Sara" and Akiva Schaffer, Andy Samberg, and Jorma Taccone of "The Lonely Island" perform "Everything Is Awesome" from "The Lego Movie" onstage during the 87th Annual Academy Awards at Dolby Theatre on February 22, 2015 in Hollywood, California

Matilda Battersby

It was the first time Neil Patrick Harris (aka Barney from How I Met Your Mother or the creepy ex-boyfriend from Gone Girl) has presented the Oscars and the full verdict is yet to come in on whether he was better than James Franco or as eyebrow-raising as Seth MacFarlane.

The immediate consensus is that the comic actor was pretty cringe-worthy. Here are some of the best and worst jokes of the 87th Academy Awards – not going by who laughed in the audience (hey, they were always going to be uptight about diversity jibes).

Best jokes

"Tonight we honour Hollywood’s best and whitest – sorry, brightest."

On Benedict Cumberbatch: "It's not only the most awesome name in show business, it's also the sound you get when you ask John Travolta to pronounce 'Ben Affleck’."

"Welcome to the Oscars, or as I like to think of it, the Dependent Spirit Awards."

To Dana Perry (who is wearing pom-poms): “It takes a lot of balls to wear a dress like that.”

"We’ve got the glamour, the glitter, people tweeting things on Twitter. And no-one’s drunk and bitter yet ‘cos no-one has lost – from opening number “Moving Pictures,” by Frozen's "Let It Go" writers Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez

"Our next presenter [Dakota Johnson] is not only the star of the record breaker for biggest February premiere ever, 50 Shades of Grey, she's also the reason you had to explain to your grandmother what a spanking bench is."

"In Zero Dark Thirty [Kathryn Bigelow] helped kill Osama Bin Laden. In A Million Ways to Die in the West I pooped in a hat."

Worst jokes

"Robert Duvall, every five minutes, please wake up Octavia Spencer if she gets sleepy. Eddie Redmayne, every five minutes, please wake up Robert Duvall."

"The eight Best Picture nominees brought in over $600 million, and American Sniper is responsible for $300 million of that. Put it to you this way: this half of the theatre are the other seven nominees: American Sniper is Oprah [looks directly at Oprah]. Because you’re rich."

"There it is, American Sniper with Bradley Cooper. The most prolific sniper in history, with over 160 confirmed kills. Or, as Harvey Weinstein calls it, a slow morning."

"Every nominee is getting a gift bag tonight. It contains make-up, shoes and an armoured car ride to safety when the revolution comes."

"He’s the real deal, pants down. I mean hands down. Channing Tatum!"

"Tonight is also for the people who love these movies, who bought a ticket, who took a ride, who got lost in the stories that inspire us, the stories that motivate us, that remind us to be brave in the face of danger, to chase impossible dreams and to stand up for our rights. Tonight, on this stage, we have come together to celebrate and hopefully to fall in love with moving pictures all over again. OK, maybe not Smurfs 2."

READ: Oscars 2015 wrap - winners, losers, and what has people talking

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