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Tuesday 21 November 2017

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Kim Bielenberg

Kim Bielenberg

'Fifty Shades of Grey'

As Dakota Johnson (left) and Charlie Hunnam took the lead role in the upcoming movie, it was reported that 12 copies of the steamy novel have been ordered by libraries in Irish prisons.

Officer, officer. Will you put me in those handcuffs again? Oh, thanks officer.

Rosie Hackett

The public was left scratching its head after a Dublin bridge was named after the trade union activist who took part in the 1913 Lockout and in the 1916 Rising.

They still hope to name a bridge after Éamon de Valera if they can find one long and crooked enough.

John Waters

The columnist (left) was jailed for life – well actually a couple of hours – for non-payment of parking fines. The Mandela of the meters had described Dún Laoghaire's ticketing policy as "akin to tyranny".

Hurrah. At last, someone is standing up to the Pol Pots of the parking world.

Cardinal Bertone

The Vatican's former secretary of state lashed out after being ordered out by Pope Francis. He claimed he had been surrounded by "crows and vipers".

There's no word from the crow and viper communities but they may be a touch miffed to be compared with Vatican officials.

Irish Independent

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