Tis, to paraphrase King Lear, a trifle coming here, but the closure of cinemas has left superannuated film critics wandering the streets disconsolate. No films to review, then, and not too many on terrestrial TV either, but plenty to watch on the streaming services, which are - as we are all discovering - a godsend in this lockdown.
After their strong showing in the awards season, Netflix has a string of quality movies to be caught up on, while Amazon Prime boasts its own awards contenders, and Now TV offers access to the Sky Cinema's extensive catalogue of new films and classics. Not to mention the fact that Disney+ launches here in a couple of days, and may in the circumstances get more subscriptions than it knows what to do with.
We've all got lots of time on our hands at the moment, so here's my selection of streamed movies to help while away the evenings.
In this amusing superhero caper, an extraterrestrial warrior falls to Earth in 1995, crash-landing through the roof of a video store. Vers has superpowers, and is pursued by vengeful aliens, but as she charges through downtown LA she gets the nagging feeling she's been here before. Brie Larson stars.
Winning comedy starring Awkwafina as Billi, an aspiring writer who returns to China when she finds out her beloved grandmother is terminally ill. But she discovers the Chinese have a different way of dealing with sickness.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
In this Oscar-winning animation that breathed new life into a tired franchise, a New York teenager develops alarming powers after being bitten by a genetically modified spider.
Violent, enthralling, ever-so-slightly bonkers, Ari Aster's follow-up to his controversial horror hit Hereditary stars Florence Pugh and Jack Reynor as an estranged couple who decide to join friends at a midsummer festival in rural Sweden - a decision they will bitterly regret.
Yorgos Lanthimos's comic drama is set amid the chaos of the court of Queen Anne, the sickly early 18th-century monarch besieged by intrigue. Olivia Colman is Anne, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone two ladies-in-waiting who vie for her attention.
A Star is Born
Chris Cooper's stirring remake of the classic melodrama would make a stone weep, and stars himself as Jackson Maine, an alcoholic country rock star who's having a drink in a New York drag bar one night when he's enchanted by the voice of an unknown singer. With Lady Gaga.
Brittany Runs a Marathon
Jillian Bell is excellent in this very contemporary comedy about a Manhattan party animal who faces a struggle when she decides to clean up her act and run the New York marathon.
Noah Baumbach's wistfully comic domestic drama fared poorly at the Oscars but was one of the stand-out films of last year. Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver are Nicole and Charlie, a high-flying theatrical couple whose separation gets messy once the lawyers get involved.
Mr. Driver again, giving a fiercely focused performance in this tense thriller based on the true story of the man who exposed the CIA's use of torture after 9/11.
Pixar never shy away from confronting difficult subjects, and in this delightful 2017 animation they tackle the big one - death. In it, a young Mexican boy called Miguel discovers shocking truths about the lives of his extended family when he travels to the Land of the Dead.
A slow-moving epic to stand with Martin Scorsese's very best work, The Irishman is based on the not particularly reliable memoirs of Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro), a mob hitman who claimed to be the man who killed controversial Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa. Al Pacino plays the mercurial Hoffa.
The Two Popes
This sumptuous Netflix two-hander imagines a clash of ideologies between Pope Benedict and his successor, Francis. Jonathan Pryce is Jorge Bergoglio, the charismatic, left-leaning Argentine Cardinal who's surprised and worried when Benedict (Anthony Hopkins) unexpectedly summons him to Rome.
Truth, they say, is stranger than fiction, and that's certainly the case with this bleakly comic drama based on the life of Tonya Harding, a talented ice skater from the wrong side of the tracks who was on the verge of competing for the US in the Olympics when she was implicated in an attack on a rival.
Adam Sandler acts! His performance in this gritty crime thriller was widely praised, and he's very convincing as Howard Ratner, a jeweller in Manhattan's diamond district whose complex personal life and addiction to gambling land him in all sorts of trouble. With Judd Hirsch.
Some Like It Hot
This 1959 Billy Wilder classic stars Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon as jazz musicians in 1920s Chicago who go on the run after accidentally witnessing the Valentine's Day Massacre. In desperation, they don dresses and join an all girls' band, but the gangster Spats Colombo pursues them. With Marilyn Monroe.
Lively remake of Stephen King's chiller starring Jason Clarke as a Boston doctor who imagines a wholesome fresh start when he moves with his family to small town Maine. Unfortunately, their new home abuts an ancient burial site that has a habit of reviving the dead.
The Meyerowitz Stories
Noah Baumbach's 2018 comic drama attracted much less attention than Marriage Story, but offers delightful insights into the pressures of family life. When self-absorbed artist Harold Meyerowitz falls ill, his variously complexed grown-up children gather to tend to him and air old grievances. With Ben Stiller.
The daring exploits of ballooning's 19th-century pioneers are handsomely dramatised in this British movie that stars Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones as a scientist and his pilot who get into all sorts of trouble while attempting to break the record for this highest flight.
Escapism of the highest order, William Wyler's 1950s romcom stars Audrey Hepburn as a European crown princess who sneaks away from her entourage while on a state visit to Rome and falls asleep on a park bench. She awoken by a curious American reporter (Gregory Peck) who has absolutely no idea who she is.
Toy Story 4
In the fourth instalment of Pixar's much loved kids' animation, Woody and Buzz have a nightmare on their hands when they embark on a family road trip with a home-made toy called Forky (left) who appears to have a death-wish.