Wednesday 18 July 2018

Miss Irelands

As Emily Hourican talks to some recent winners of Miss Ireland (see Page 10), Pat Fitzpatrick looks at five other women who have held the coveted title



What makes you Miss Ireland? The weather, said no one who ever emigrated. Amanda launched her Champagne Trilogy novels in 2008. Some say she should have gone for a name to match the times. We say no one would want to read the Own Brand Cider Trilogy. Amanda tried some of the toughest jobs in Ireland (construction, pig farming) in her TV show, Danger: Amanda at Work! She didn't get to try the toughest job of them all. There were no vacancies at the PR department in Irish Water.



The 1996 winner appeared in an ad for contraception. Or, as it was still widely known in Ireland, 'How did we end up with seven kids?' Niamh was involved in a controversy when she wasn't chosen to represent Ireland at Miss Universe. There are two reasons why Miss Universe doesn't involve women from other planets. Women on Saturn have no real interest in world peace. And their bubbly personalities will never make up for the fact that they have 17 ears. It's just not a great look.



At the time of writing, 2008 winner Sinead is going out with South African rugby star Maks Van Dyk. It makes you wonder - what could she possibly see in a man whose name is probably pronounced Max Van Dick? His GSOH says you, steering well away from the schoolboy giggles at this hour of a Sunday morning. Seriously though, you have to imagine that in high school he was voted Person Most Likely to Work in the Porn Industry Due to His Name.





We hate introducing an accomplished individual by referring to their famous partner. Apparently Aoife's husband, Gordon D'Arcy, feels the same way too. Sure didn't he spend a lot of his Irish rugby career in the shadow of Brian O'Driscoll, says you, getting into the swing of Famous Partner Bingo. You mean the guy who's married to Amy Huberman, says someone else, taking it too far. Rule One of Irish life - no jokes about BOD.

This top Irish Model opened her own agency. Begs the question - what do you call a group of Irish models? Anything you want, if you're a sad loser with a Twitter account. Andrea's husband, Rob, proposed to her at the Eiffel Tower. Irish men need to be careful when they go to Paris with the girlfriend. Here is how it can pan out. Donal goes down on one knee. Ciara thinks, "OMG, at last!" Donal ties his laces. Ciara goes back on Tinder.

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