Wednesday 22 November 2017

It's the SuperModels

'The Body': Elle McPherson
'The Body': Elle McPherson
Janice Dickinson
Kate Moss
Cindy Crawford
'Hello Boys': Eva Herzigova

Pat Fitzpatrick

As Barry Egan catches up with Naomi Campbell , we take a look at some of our other all-time favourite catwalk queens


Elle was known as 'The Body' back in the 1980s. Of course, you couldn't call a woman that these days. It would have to be #Thebody. Is there anything more innovative than social media? #No, says you, desperate to be taken seriously. In fairness, calling someone The Body seems fairly quaint now. Ten years later, she'd probably have been called something like The Boobies. Ah, the 1990s, when you could say what was actually on your mind. Even if it was stupid. Particularly if it was stupid.


Janice was the first supermodel, according to a lot of people. Well, according to Janice, anyway. But given the amount of surgery she has undergone, you could argue that she has been a lot of people over the last few years. Janice allowed cameras in to film her boob job last year, for a TV show called Botched. Crikey. Some say they were the most ridiculous tits that anyone has ever seen on the television. We say you obviously never watched Celebrity Big Brother.


Kate was recently seen spending a lot of time with young socialite Count Nikolai von Bismarck. You wouldn't say he was going out of his way to hide his aristocratic roots. (Or maybe he just loves to count, ah-ah-ah-ah.) His mother (this is true) is called Countess Debonnaire von Bismarck. That is the poshest name since Viscount Inbreeding 'Pranky' von Horseface. And we made that up. Debonnaire owns a shop in London. It's appointment-only. Don't even try.


Cindy released a book recently to mark the approach of her 50th birthday. You have to say, she wears it well. In fact, Cindy is a beacon of hope for all of us out there with supermodel genes and an army of well-paid helpers. (The rest of you can go to hell. Seriously, leave us alone.) It's fair to say that some people are overly cheerful about their 50th birthday. Ah sure, 50 is the new 48, says you, grimacing slightly as you try to ignore the latest weird pain in your knee.


A message from the Ordinary Men of Ireland. "Attention all you people working in advertising - Eva's 'Hello Boys' Wonderbra ad was the one and only time we ever looked at a billboard while driving down the road." A reply from the feminists. "Did you not find it degrading to women?" The Ordinary Men again. "No. The missus said the billboard made her feel inadequate, right enough, but we were very happy with it. Sure, it takes all sorts."

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