Friday 23 February 2018

Ireland, it's the perfect place to find a hairy man

Do you reckon you can run and shout aargh! at the same time? Excellent. You'd make a great Viking. Don't worry if you missed the auditions for the TV show, Vikings, during the week. Given the amount of slaughter that goes on, they'll run out of extras soon enough. In the meantime, just work on your beard. (Particularly if you are a bloke.)

There were massive queues of hairy men for the audition in Temple Bar last Tuesday. Or maybe it was just a gang of hipsters hanging around, discussing the best place to buy odd-looking brown shoes. Either way, the producers must have been delighted with the array of wild-looking beardy boys at their disposal. It's fair to say that the single greatest natural resource in Ireland right now is hairy men.

Just as Australia has an endless supply of rocks and minerals, we really are your one-stop shop for a hirsute gentleman. Irish men are like one giant tribute band to The Dubliners. This could be the final piece in the jigsaw as we head towards full employment. The movie and television opportunities aren't just limited to shows about the Vikings. Where else are you going to look if you are planning a movie about 1970s Trades Union or the Taliban. (We're not suggesting any similarity. It would be a terrible slur on the Taliban.)

We should also be making a play for women around the world who like a bit of coverage in the chin area. Show a poster of Jamie Dornan with the tagline "Tickle your Fancy?" Dublin airport will be open 24/7 to cope with the demand.

Pat Fitzpatrick

Sunday Independent

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