Saturday 20 January 2018

Footballers' Partners - from Victoria Beckham to Claudine Keane

Victoria Beckham.
Victoria Beckham.
Claudine Keane
Abbey Clancy
Colleen Rooney

Pat Fitzpatrick

As Niamh Horan talks to Robbie Brady's partner, Kerrie Harris, As Niamh Horan talks to Robbie Brady's partner, Kerrie Harris, Pat Fitzpatrick has a look at famous women with footballing other halves we have a look at famous women with footballing other halves


Victoria Beckham recently wrote a letter to her younger self. This is a new thing now, where celebrities pretend they can write. Only messing. They get someone else to pretend they can write for them. Ah stop, say the lawyers. Victoria revealed in the letter that she was a little drunk the first time she met David Beckham. Some say it's terrible that people need a few bevvies before they can talk to a member of the opposite sex. We say it's the one thing that stands between the Irish race and outright extinction.


She was at Robbie Keane's farewell friendly of Ireland against Oman in the Aviva last month, and she stole the show in a €1,500 blazer. This is not to confused with an FAI blazer, which usually costs €10,000, once you've flown him to the match first-class and put him up in a five-star hotel. It's not surprising that Robbie got his final goal against Oman in that friendly. It turns out that their national anthem is, "Oman, Oman, Oh man, we're so shit at soccer".


Coleen said in her autobiography that Wayne was earning 60 quid a week when they met, so she wasn't after him for his money. That leaves his personality and his looks. Wayne raised the bar for all men when news broke that he spent time with an alleged prostitute known as Auld Slapper. Great name. Imagine if everyone was called after their source of income. Wayne would be called Footballer. Coleen would be called Wayne Rooney.


She is married to 6-foot 7-inch, former England striker, Peter Crouch. That's either his name, or the instruction the team photographer shouts out when trying to get him in a shot. (He's very tall, you see.) A mother of two, Abbey tends to post a lot of photos of her smoking-hot body on Instagram. It's fair to say that a lot of other mums with two kids envy her. It's fair to say a lot of their partners envy Peter Crouch, says you, sailing dangerously close to the truth.


She is the partner of Barcelona and Spain star, Gerard Pique. We've seen recent photos of Shakira, 39. Gerard Pique very well, says you, mad for the puns. A lot of people like to point out she is 10 years older than him. This shouldn't matter. She is naturally good-looking, and can afford to get a bit of work done if required. The only worry for Shakira is that aching joints might betray her age in years to come. You see, her hips don't lie.

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