Wednesday 16 October 2019

7 things we learned from the Rose of Tralee round one

Aoife Kelly

Aoife Kelly

The Rose of Tralee is nothing if not entertaining and last night's three hour spectacle saw dung spitting, ballet, Guns N'Roses, and lots and lots and lots of poetry. Here are a few things we learned from the first batch of lovely girls...

Dung spitting is a thing

The Melbourne Rose introduced us to dung spitting, which is a thing in South Africa, from where she originally hails. 

A little known fact is that the practice has been adopted in Ireland with the first sheep dung spitting championship taking place at this summer's Lady of the Lake festival in Fermanagh.  Organiser Joe Mahon was inspired by the emu dung spitting competitions in South Africa.  Last night Daithi chickened out of the actual dung spitting by substituting the dung for Maltesers.  Thank God.

Read more: First Irish sheep dung spitting (yes, you read that correctly) competition featured at Fermanagh festival 


Poetry sucks

Of course poetry doesn't suck, especially here in Ireland where we have a long tradition of poetic genius in the form of Yeats, Kavanagh and co, but when you're rhyming 'land' with 'grand' and there's a flute attempting to add some gravitas to your little ditty it doesn't quite scream 'talent' at the audience.

The Kerry Rose, South Australia Rose, and Monaghan Rose all recited poems written by their own fair hands.  By the time the Dubai Rose launched into her first stanza towards the end of the show's three hour run we were all suffering post traumatic poetry stress with flashbacks to second class and Limericks.

Let's hope tonight's batch of poets are frantically practicing an alternative 'talent'.  It doesn't take much - you can always do something like this...

The Darwin Rose is a bit like Ted

Caitriona Brennan can recite all 32 counties in 8 seconds, which reminded us of Ted and the scene in which Mark Wahlberg's character recites the names of 'white trash' girls (see below).  Warning: NSFW.

Tubs has a stalker

Meath Rose Alicia Brennan had everyone on side with her perky personality until she mentioned she's a massive fan of Ryan Tubridy, or 'Tubbers' as she affectionately calls him.  She admitted that all her friends know not to text her when she's watching him on the Late Late Show between the hours of 9pm and 11.30pm on a Friday night. 

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In fairness, as far as stalkers go, we reckon Tubs is doing quite well.  Alicia is a stunner with her aforementioned perky personality and a belter of a voice to boot.  Her take on Mary Black's The Bright Blue Rose was superb.

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Mary Black is always a winner

If you can hold a tune then a Mary Black song is the perfect choice for your Rose of Tralee party piece.  Soulful, mournful, powerful - Alicia clawed back the audience's favour with her Mary Black song while the London Rose also impressed with Mary Black's No Frontiers. 

However, if you're not bothered about winning, but want to be remembered, get the audience on their feet like the Boston Rose with Guns N'Roses Sweet Child of Mine.


That stint in a fast food joint will stand to you

The Kentucky Rose revealed she had humble beginnings at fast food joint KFC and those early days wrestling deep fried chicken led to a career as a fitness expert who specialises in ballet barre, which she demonstrated for the audience using Daithi in a pink tutu as a prop. Thank you KFC.

The Longford Rose has a stalker (and particularly good hair)

At one point during the evening the camera ended up IN the Longford Rose's hair.  Whether it was down to a speed wobble or affection or one too many Irish whiskies we'll never know...


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