'Remember - the points only matter for a day, but the nightmares will stay with you forever' - Twitter tackles Leaving Cert results as only Twitter can
There's no escaping Leaving Cert results day, even on Twitter where virtually no Leaving Cert students reside.
Those who do and venture down the #LeavingCert2019 hashtag are subjected to a barrage of 'good luck' tweets from brands and politicians trying to muscle in on the attention, the panicked outpourings of parents, guardians, aunts and grannies (who are also partial to posting motivational quotes set against sunset backgrounds or candles), and platitudes from the super successful (financially speaking) who assure us they failed miserably but sure look at them now.
Among the messages repeated ad nauseum by the above for students who are not, for the most part, actually on Twitter are the following:
"The results don't define you"
"There are many paths to the same destination"
"There is life after the Leaving Cert"
"Regardless of points your best is yet to come"
Indeed. There is merit, of course, in these messages of support and motivation for students who are likely feeling enormous pressure this morning. However, for those who would prefer a chuckle on this most tense of mornings, Twitter also unsurprisingly steps up to the plate...
I mitched every Leaving Cert exam and went down the park with a flagon of Linden Village, twenty Sweet Afton and a bag of chips from Riozzi's, but now I'm chairman of HSBC, I invented Google and I own a solid gold yacht. Everything happens for a reason. #LeavingCert2019— Joe Donnelly (@kildarejoe) August 12, 2019
To all the #LeavingCert2019 students: breathe. Some day you’ll get to my level: after years of college and exams and study and find yourself living off bread and water in Dublin in a room you can’t afford with 12 Brazilians and realise: I’ve made it.— Shane Gubbins (@Better_Call_Gub) August 13, 2019
Its #leavingcertresults night tonight. It won't matter that you have your aunt's passport and know that she's a Virgo. Bouncers will know you're 17 by the fact you're dressed to the nines smothered in Clinique and its a Tuesday! #LeavingCert2019— Derek A. Laffan (@dereklaffan) August 13, 2019
Getting my results tomorrow and it still doesn’t feel like the leaving cert happened , I’ll start studying Monday #LeavingCert2019— Leah Donohoe x (@LeahDx2) August 12, 2019
To everyone worrying about their leaving cert results don't worry, your future isn't going to be defined over a piece of paper, it's all based on how rich your parents are #LeavingCert #LeavingCert2019— oh, ar dhia? (@chains_awe) August 12, 2019
I got 8 points in my #LeavingCert. Then my uncle blamed the death of my father on me and I fled. He became head of the pride. I spent years in exile. But I turned things around and now, after defeating him and finding true love, I'm King of Pride Rock. #LeavingCert2019— Cormac Moore (@CormacComedy) August 12, 2019
Don’t worry if you don’t get the results you wanted tomorrow the Earth will be a burning cannibal infested desert in under a decade so there’s nothing to panic about #LeavingCert2019— Jamie (@FCTwenteBenson) August 12, 2019
"And what made you become a dentist?"— Hugo (@AodhBC) August 11, 2019
"I didn't get the points for medicine."#LeavingCert2019
Oh lord, it’s time for the biggest humblebrag day of the year tomorrow. The day everyone on Twitter ASSUMES people 10 years younger follow them, and tells them ‘not to worry, I didn’t do great in the #LeavingCert BUT LOOK AT ME NOW’ 💤— Orla McConnon (@TheOrlacle) August 12, 2019
I regularly have nightmares where my secondary school rings me to say that I have to go back and re-do my Leaving Cert and I'm just running around in the uniform crying "I don't remember any maths!" It's been 13 years. #LeavingCert— Eva Burke (@Eva_B89) August 12, 2019