Tuesday 21 May 2019

'Brexit is like....' - the best analogies from the tired and confused across UK and Ireland

Aoife Kelly

Aoife Kelly

Whether or not you are immersed in the day to day legal intricacies, wrangling, shocks, and surprises of the political tornado that is Brexit, it has been a very long and arduous three years.

And it's not over yet as Theresa May continues to push her deal and Westminister gears up to vote on a range of possible ways forward.  Will it be a soft Brexit, will they revoke Article 50, will there be an interminably long extension?  Or will Uri Geller use the power of his mind to halt the entire process?

Boris Johnson this week said he might vote for May's "appalling” deal rather than risk “further delay, confusion and parliamentary jiggery”.  Delay, confusion, and parliamentary jiggery epitomises the entire, exasperating Brexit process.  Even for those of us who still have nary a notion what a backstop is, watching the shambles from the sidelines is utterly exhausting.

That said, most of those who are presumably better informed - politicians, commentators, and politically aware members of the public - are also struggling to get their tired heads around the twists and turns of Brexit and to explain and analyse each stage of the confusing and convoluted process of Britain leaving the EU.

Cue lots and lots and lots of odd, and often hilarious, analogies.

In a speech to the European Parliament, European Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker said: "If I were to compare Great Britain to a sphinx, the sphinx would be an open book by comparison.  And let's see how that book speaks over the next week, or so."

Dutch prime minister Mark Rutte reportedly said something along the lines of, "A decision to vote for a no-deal Brexit is like the Titanic voting for the iceberg to get out of the way" in a phone call to Jean-Claude Junker.

Twitter is teeming with Brexit analogies: It's like a music festival where you lose all your mates; or a TV series so long-running you've forgotten half the characters; a messy Saturday in Penneys; a disappointing Mr Frosty; a never-ending art house movie from which you cannot escape, or a fart with accidental follow through.

One Twitter user, presumably Irish or of Irish extraction, given his lingo, put it like this, "Brexit is the equivalent of threatening to move out of the gaf, and your ma just goes right f*** off so, you pack the bags and you’re like b****x what do I do now? where do I go? Apologising is not an option because you’re stubborn. Britain = Hormonal teen. EU = Ma."

Here are some of the most entertaining from the past month of the Brexit soap opera:

Read more: Irish people are trolling a UK politician with hilarious 'alternative' takes on Irish history

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