Bewitching guide for police
IT'S Halloween and the witching hour is drawing near, but don't be alarmed -- police officers are on the case, having been issued with official guidance on how to deal with witches.
The advice is contained in a 300-page "diversity handbook" that gives officers a range of "dos and don'ts" when approaching followers of a range of religions and other beliefs, from atheism to Zoroastrianism.
Instructions include to avoid touching a witch's Book of Shadows, which contains their spells.
The online handbook also advises officers not to jump to conclusions if they encounter a situation where a blindfolded, naked person is tied by their hands -- they could merely have stumbled upon a pagan ritual.
"Witches have a Book of Shadows, which contains a handwritten record or diary of their personal progress as a witch. Any book can be used, but this book is regarded as private and special and should not be touched by anyone but the author."
The guide, drawn up by the Metropolitan Police, warns against interrupting a pagan ceremony and adds: "Some ceremonies include a blindfolded, naked participant, whose hands may be bound. This is in accordance with ritual and has the full consent of the participant."
As well as religions beliefs, the book gives officers advice on dealing with teenagers, including a guide on "teen speak". The guide explains that "Talk to the hand 'cos the face is in Spain" means "I am not listening", while "da bomb" means "great".