Thursday 25 May 2017

Jamie Vardy interrupts England fans' afternoon naps by inconsiderately scoring

By Alistair Mason

England’s game against Lithuania didn’t turn out to be the most exciting spectacle.

England fans across the country took the opportunity to catch up on the hour of sleep they missed overnight during their team’s sedate 2-0 World Cup qualifying win over Lithuania.

Unfortunately for those who missed out on their kip when the clocks went forward, their afternoon naps were rudely interrupted when Jamie Vardy punctured the on-field torpor by thoughtlessly scoring a goal.

The ensuing noise from celebrating fans at Wembley caused armchair supporters all over the country to jolt into consciousness and cheer as if they’d been awake all along.

Annoying to have your snooze brought to a premature end, but we’re sure they’ll forgive Vardy as his goal, following Jermain Defoe’s strike in the first half, ensured England took all three points.

England lacked the spark they showed in their promising performance against Germany on Wednesday, and the only real moment of quality came in the shape of that goal from Vardy.

But it seems there was one fan he couldn’t wake – his own daughter.

She’s got the right idea.

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