Monica Lewinsky breaks silence on Bill Clinton affair: 'It's time to bury the blue dress'
Published 06/05/2014 | 18:01
The 40-year-old writes that she 'deeply regrets' the relationship and has decided to speak out now in order to lift the veil of controversy around her name as she's 'determined to have a different ending' to her life story.
“It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress," she writes.
“I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton. Let me say it again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.”
"The buzz in some circles has been that the Clintons must have paid me off; why else would I have refrained from speaking out," she explained of her silence on the subject, despite lucrative offers worth tens of millions to tell her story.
"I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. I am determined to have a different ending to my story. I’ve decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past.
“Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship. Any ‘abuse’ came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position.
Monica Lewsinky and US President Bill Clinton
"The Clinton administration, the special prosecutor’s minions, the political operatives on both sides of the aisle, and the media were able to brand me. And that brand stuck, in part because it was imbued with power.”
Monica revealed that she fought suicidal temptations, locked herself in her room for weeks at a time when the scandal first broke - which she says, was catapulted by online harassment - a cause she has now taken to heart.
"I, too, was suicidal. The shame, the scorn, and the fear that had been thrown at her daughter left her afraid that I would take my own life—a fear that I would be literally humiliated to death.”
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“I turned down offers that would have earned me more than $10 million, because they didn’t feel like the right thing to do," she added.
“I was never ‘quite right’ for the position. In some cases, I was right for all the wrong reasons, as in ‘Of course, your job would require you to attend our events.’ And, of course, these would be events at which press would be in attendance.”
She said several employers referred to her 'history' as she applied for roles around the US , before embarking on a Masters degree in Psychology in London.
Lewinsky even hit out at a Beyonce lyric in her song 'Partition'.
“Thanks, Beyoncé, but if we’re verbing, I think you meant ‘Bill Clinton’d all on my gown,’ not ‘Monica Lewinsky’d.’”
The June 2014 cover of Vanity Fair in which Monica Lewinsky writes