I'm writing a eulogy about my favourite colour. As Neiman Marcus pointed out in its American department store advert – women who wear black enjoy colourful times.
While our forebears moved into mourning by wearing black and widow's weeds, we now approach the colour in a sensible, modern way.
Black is a total problem-solver. It's flattering and a go-to friend on 'feeling fat' days.
Black looks expensive even when it's not. The simplest black polo worn with specs lends instant je ne sais quoi.
A sharp black suit gives you confidence when surrounded by a lift full of 'Mad Men' suits enveloped in a cloud of Tom Ford aftershave.
It's a colour that looks absolutely delicious worn with navy though I'm less of a fan of the black/brown combo, I must confess.
Black is simple to accessorise; everything in a black-dominated wardrobe works together and eliminates 7am closet panic.
Different blacks go together and, if you're worried, confuse the eye: divert attention downwards and wear a pair of lacy black tights and patent heels.
The best black of all for me is the layered-up, textured black story – wool coat with leathers, suedes partnered with sequins, faux fur and lace.
Some women were swept away by the sight of Holly Golightly in her elegant black Givenchy sheath in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' in 1961, but others are more brazen and even get married in black.
I share a predilection for noir with Coco Chanel, who used it brilliantly on its own and effectively with cream.
I love a LBD because it is the barest of canvases and allows you to build up your own style.
Ironically, when it came to my own mum's funeral, I dived into colour and a cheery red to celebrate her life, but I was back to black quicker than you can say, '80 denier'.
Now that November has swung around, it's okay to mention party dresses.
I fell in love with the €55 dress and €43 shoes shot for Next's campaign by the world's latest glossy magazine favourite, Victor Demarchelier.
Victor photographed supermodel Kendra Spears against the skyline from his father Patrick Demarchelier's studio in New York's Chelsea district.
The campaign features the latest trends from Next's 'New In For Winter' collection in a stunning 154-page magazine of fashion must-haves for the Christmas season.
I imagine the sexy T-back dress and this season's coolest suede-and-leather biker jacket will feature on lots of lust lists. Not to mention the shoes...
Photography: Victor Demarchelier