It happens every night, doesn't it? Bedtime. I still haven't gotten used to it.
That feeling of resignation, sloping off to bed muttering, "But I'm not even tired yet, Mom" and Mom muttering back, "Get up them stairs, you have work in the morning", and me, always having to have the last word, helpfully pointing out that my bedroom is actually downstairs "in case, YOU HADN'T NOTICED!"
Now you might think that's childish, but how is a 32-year-old man ever going to be taken seriously if he's still being told when to go to bed by his mother?
For that reason alone, it's important I stand up for myself and at least make a scene before slamming my bedroom door, and slipping on my pyjamas.
Okay, I've totally made that bit up. I don't live with my mom, but we have at least reached a sort of climactic conclusion leading me to where I want to be. Pyjamas. Pajamas. PJs. Jammies. Jim-jams.
Funny word, pyjamas. Persian in origin. The origin of pyjama design is enough to make one perish. Traditionally, they were made with flannel with a loose-fitting jacket and trousers. Said trousers came with what was sensitively described as a trap door or a butt-flap.
This was an opening in and around the buttock area which allowed one to use the facilities when necessary without having to remove the whole ensemble. I can't but think that whole process is fraught with danger.
Winter has set in, so it's time for all hot-blooded males to think once again of bedwear. David Beckham x H&M is a worthy place to start. His Bodywear collaboration has us thinking about PJs in a new way. I happen to know for a fact that women find men in pyjamas very sexy. Pyjamas have become a weapon of seduction, a way of dressing up to get your woman to dress down.
Skinny pyjama legs, provided you have the right build, can flatter a man in all the right places. Vests the same. Beckham's collection is very simple and stylish in black, white and grey. Topman has similar offerings of skinny pyjama legs in different colours, along with onesies for men.
Onesies for men. Let's leave that one to ferment for the time being. The skinny pyjama legs are an interesting one.
The softer cotton fabric is very wearable -- so much so, I'm considering them for daywear. Nothing new there then. If anything I'm behind the times. Walking around town in striped pyjamas has become de rigueur for post- Celtic Tiger Ireland. This has been a mainly female phenomenon, but it has grown widespread enough for certain Social Welfare offices to ban said offensive sleepers.
For the more affluent kaffler, there is the luxurious end of the jim-jam market. Derek Rose, not to be mistaken for the NBA player, is a luxury brand specialising in pyjamas and night shirts since the 1920s. Night shirts automatically transport me to the Grange in 'Wuthering Heights' with Heathcliff shuffling around at night howling at the moon over the Yorkshire moors.
Anyway, if it's luxury sleepwear you're after, visit Mr Porter and browse Derek Rose. You might find something nice for your dad or granddad -- or your crazy mad uncle who lives in the big manor on the moors.