Hysterical excitement greets the news that Kate Moss is to get her kit off for Playboy. As Kate turns 40 and Playboy UK turns 60, they're doing something together to mark their respective special days. It reminds me a bit of one of those cute, cross-generational joint landmark birthday parties, like the time my mum, cousin and grandfather celebrated their cumulative 150 years. Exactly like that, really. Just with more nipples.
Playboy, whose Moss shoot will be published in January/ February of next year, is prematurely, ahem, blowing a gasket with excitement. "This creates a heat for the brand globally," said the editorial director of the mag. "It started with Marilyn Monroe on the cover of Playboy 60 years ago, an icon for her time. Now we've got Kate Moss!"
Well, yes. It's certainly a coup to have a globally recognisable fashion model instead of Miss Milwaukee 2005 or whoever usually makes the cover. (No offence, Rosanna Davison).
But what's missing for me is the element of surprise. I mean, it's not as if it's anything we haven't seen before. I can barely open a magazine these days without stumbling across a picture of La Moss in the almost altogether. From fashion spreads to candid paparazzi shots, her unclothed form has become about as ubiquitous as Helen Flanagan's cleavage, ie, no longer very mysterious. Which means Playboy will have to pull out something really unusual to make this worth forking out for.
For inspiration about the wilder shores of sexual surrealism, may I then politely refer them to the work of Miley Cyrus. Perhaps they can discover something truly groundbreaking there?