CBS have issued a 'wardrobe advisory' notice ahead of Sunday's ceremony to encourage flesh-flashing celebrities to cover up
Celebrities are finding ever more inventive ways of baring their assets on the red carpet.
Side-boobs, waistline-necklines and backless dresses, which sit so low they reveal something of 'what lies beneath', have become the norm. And that's before we've even got into the thigh-split dresses that so love to make a feature of a girl's underpants.
Such rampant, flesh-baring antics have now driven CBS, the broadcaster of Sunday's 55th Grammy Awards, to take the unusual step of sending out a 'Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory' notice to all attendees, containing a strict dress code.
'Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered', it begins.
'Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack.' Are you listening Nicki Minaj?
Addressing the growing side-boob trend, the notice cautions 'Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples.'
Sorry… female breast nipples? Who wrote this?
And then it's onto the unsavory topic of a ladies nether-regions:
'Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible "puffy" bare skin exposure.'
Ewww. Might we suggest that anyone who needs to be reminded not to display their 'puffy bare' genital region, probably shouldn't have made the guestlist in the first place?
Also banned: branded clothing, obscenities on clothing (this part is in capitals so obviously more of a concern than those pesky female breast nipples), foreign language on clothes (this apparently needs to be cleared by the organizers in advance) and any clothing alluding to support of a charity or cause.
Unlike the movie crowd who frequent award ceremonies such as the Oscars, Golden Globes or Baftas (also this Sunday night), the Grammys attracts a rather more risqué music crowd, with Sunday's nominees including the leotard-loving Beyonce, and boob and buttock-baring specialist Rihanna.
Right now in LA there are stylists being fired, celebrities in tears and dreams of fleshy-under-curve-of-buttock-and-female-breast-nipple-exposing gowns in tatters. Good luck policing this, CBS.