From Daisy Boo to Princess Tiaamii, why do celebs force silly names on their offspring?
Former Buffy the Vampire Slayer star Sarah Michelle Gellar and her husband, actor Freddie Prinze Jr revealed the name of their newborn son in October. They already have a 3-year-old daughter with the perfectly normal name of Charlotte but the latest addition to the family is called Rocky.
We have not been enlightened as to the inspiration for the infant’s name. Maybe he’s named after the North American mountain range. Perhaps he’s has been called after the delicious and addictive dessert, Rocky Road, with its moreish combination of chocolate marshmallows and nuts. Or, more likely everyone is going to assume, the three-month-old has been named for the 1976 film starring Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa, the debt collector-boxer with a shot at the heavyweight title. We think we might be preferred to be called after the dessert.
As a general room of thumb, we would like to advise parents not to call their newborns anything that sounds like the noise someone would make after a night of chain smoking unfiltered cigarettes and drinking raw whiskey.
Uma Thurman clearly paid no heed.
The Kill Bill actress called baby daughter’s name as Rosaline Arushka Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. The name is apparently very personal to the actress and her partner, financier Arpad Busson (FYI former partner of Elle Macpherson) and no doubt that they think it’s wonderful but it has to be pointed out that this guttural-sounding moniker hardly roles off the tongue. And while the child will known to family as friends as Luna, already we are nervous for the 35-month-old when it comes to passport applications and school role calls.
Baby Thurman-Busson joins a long lineage of celebrity babies who have been landed with unusual monikers, dating back to David Bowie and his son Zowie, who now goes by the more pedestrian name of Duncan Jones.
Back in the day, Bob Geldof’s choice of names for his daughters – Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Blossom and Little Pixie - were considered outrageous.
They’d now get a run for their money with the likes of Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey (two of Jamie Oliver’s daughters); Pilot Ispektor ( My Name is Earl’s star Jason Lee’s son) and Apple and Moses ( Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s two). And that’s before we go anywhere near Katie Price and Peter Andre’s children (Junior and Princess Tiaamii) or Mariah Carey’s twins (Monroe and Moroccan).
These make the Beckhams’ kids names (Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper) seem fairly sane and make you want to go up to Lily Allen and shake her hand for naming her daughter Mabel.
Rather ironically, Bob Geldof didn’t approve when daughter Peaches called her son Astala and admitted he couldn’t even pronounce it.
Celebrities call their children wacky names because clearly, the normal societal norms don’t apply to them. They live privileged, wealthy lives and do not have to worry about whether the fact that ‘Pilot Inspekor’ might go against their son on his CV when he applies for a job in the bank.
But it’s also a deeply selfish thing to do a child. Zuma Rossdale, the son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin, might be the only Zuma in his school class but he might prefer to be one of the three Olivers. And call a child something cutesy like Bluebell ( Geri Halliwell’s daughter) or Dolly ( Chantelle Houghton and Alex Reid’s little one) and you’re creating this expectation of an ultra-feminine girlie-girl, whereas in actual fact she might be a football mad little tomboy.
In some countries, certain restrictions apply to the naming of children. In Germany, for example, you have to be able to tell the gender of a child from the first name and you can’t call them after an object or product.
In Denmark, parents have to choose from a list of 7,000 pre-approved names and creative spellings of traditional names are often rejected.
While these obviously protect hapless children from being called Google or Metallica at their parents him, the only thing about off-beat celebrity baby names is that they keep things interesting. The alternative is schoolrooms upon schoolrooms of children, all answering to Jack and Chloe.
As for Baby McConaughey Jr, we can only persume that Livingstone is going to get shortened to Liv or maybe even Stone.