Tom Sizemore has revealed he was prompted to seek help for his drug addiction problems when he looked in the mirror and was terrified by what he saw.
The 51-year-old star of Saving Private Ryan and Hawaii Five-0 has struggled through a long battle with heroin and crystal meth that devastated his movie career, left him homeless, sent him to jail and even led to a failed suicide attempt.
Talking about his memoir, By Some Miracle I Made It Out Of There, Sizemore described his moment of clarity. He said it came after smoking a substantial amount of crystal meth. He admitted to building up such a tolerance that the drug was ineffective. Disappointed, he looked in the mirror and finally saw the things that scared him.
"I looked like I was 100 years old. I had no relationship with my kids; I had no work to speak off. I was living in squat ... I just started to cry," Sizemore said.
He decided to call his old friend Bob Forrest from Celebrity Rehab and asked him and Dr Drew Pinsky for help.
"You saw Celebrity Rehab. I look like I'm dead. I saw it (recently) for the first time in a long time. I'm feeling really vulnerable right now," he said.
Sizemore appeared on the third season of the VH1 show and then on its spin-off, Sober House. He admitted doing the show partly for the money as his addiction left him with a mountain of debt
The Black Hawk Down star felt his dependency was related to the trappings of success, something he thought he could mask with alcohol: "I never felt as uncomfortable as I felt when I got to Hollywood."
"First I drank. People could tell if you were drunk, so then I was like, 'Hey, look, let me find a drug where I feel comfortable in my own skin'," he said. "But I did. I found a drug and it was called cocaine. I did it for a while. Then I found an even better drug and it was called heroin."
Now whenever the urge to get high hits Sizemore, he said he thinks about his twin seven-year-old sons, Jayden and Jagger, and the moment passes.