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Tuesday 23 September 2014

I was going to kill myself and girls with pills – Twink

Ken Sweeney Entertainment Editor

Published 13/11/2012 | 05:00

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11/01/2009 Twink with her daughters (L to R) Naomi holding Jilly the dog & Chloe holding Rosie the dog at the premiere screening of Beverly Hills Chihuahua at Movies@Dundrum Cinema, ÊDundrum Town Centre, Dublin. Photo: Gareth Chaney Collins

TWINK has revealed how she considered giving herself and her two daughters a deadly dose of sleeping pills.

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The 61-year-old said she wished for death after her husband had an affair.

In her forthcoming memoir 'Twink Unzipped' she recounts: "When you're in the blackest of places, your mind can travel to the darkest of corners."

Speaking about her feelings in 2004 – when her marriage to husband David Agnew ended after she learned of his relationship with RTE Concert Orchestra member Ruth Hickey – Twink said: "I was in such a dark place that, on one particular occasion, the most horrifying thoughts went through my head . . . I was going to take the lives of myself and my two daughters and finally end our misery.

Details

"As I was driving, I contemplated the various details of the different ways in which I could carry this out.

"First, I thought about driving the car off a pier.

"However, I'm quite a strong swimmer and I knew if I went ahead with it, my survival instinct would be to grab the girls and swim back up.

"I also didn't want to put the children through the mental torture, so I figured I would have to drug them first.

"This then led me to considering the prospect of administering an overdose.

"I thought about lying down on the bed with them, taking a large amount of tablets, and giving them a drug-laced drink, before reading them a fairy tale, and peacefully leaving the world together," she said.

The mother of two said she had "genuinely considered suicide as a valid option".

"Today, I honestly can't comprehend such a dreadful idea, but you know what?

"When you're in the blackest of places, your mind can travel to the darkest corners . . . Naturally I look back now, horrified by how I actually thought I had the right to end their lives but I still maintain that unless you have been in a similar situation you cannot understand what goes through the mind of someone suffering from that level of depression.

"Of course, taking the lives of your children is an irrational decision but then who really knows what triggers a moment of insanity like that?

"All I can say is that I hope you never experience it."

Shock

She revealed that she later told daughters Chloe (22) and Naomi (17) what she had planned that day.

"Their reaction was one of shock, but also a fine element of understanding.

"They knew how distraught I had been, and remembered how I would take to my bed and cry for hours, refusing to emerge.

"They too had been so broken-hearted when David left that they could see exactly why such thoughts went through my head," she said.

'Twink Unzipped' is published by Blackwater Press.

Irish Independent

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