Ange & Jen: Here Comes the Brides
Published 07/04/2013 | 05:00
Hollywood's most talked about stars are getting married. So who'll emerge the winner among the celeb watchers?
If love is a battlefield then get ready for all-out wedding war. In the next few weeks, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie will finally go head-to-head, walking down their respective aisles to say 'I do'.
Not only does this mean two hot Hollywood weddings to salivate over, but it also pits the former love rivals against each other in a public race to see who gets to live happily ever after first.
Brad Pitt's former wife and his wife-to-be are far too professional to admit it, but they must secretly be keen to ensure their own big day is the one crowned Wedding of the Year.
Will it be Friends star Jen (44) whose nuptials to screenwriter and actor Justin Theroux (41) woo the critics?
Or femme fatal Angelina (37), who lands the most column inches by finally tying the knot after seven years, and six kids, with Brad (49)?
Whoever's happiness you're left toasting, these long-awaited ceremonies will mark the final culmination in seven years of Team Aniston vs Team Jolie rivalry.
But before the confetti's thrown, we take a look to see who's most likely to win in the A-list battle of the brides.
Angelina: Brangelina's €35m (€27m) Château Miraval home in France has its own chapel and Grazia quotes the couple's florist, Lucille Michel, as saying: "They want the wedding to take place just before sunset, so that as they say their vows the church will fill with fabulous red, orange and yellow light."
Jennifer: At this point, Jen's had almost as many 'rumoured wedding locations' as she's had 'pregnancies'. Hawaii (where Justin has a cottage), Greece (where her dad's family is from), Pennsylvania (where her gran's church is), Mexico and Paris (where the couple love to holiday) have all been thrown into the mix, but it seems almost certain the big day will take place in LA, at the couple's newly landscaped $21m (€16m) mansion, with a follow-up party in Justin's hometown of New York in the summer.
VERDICT: Jen wins. But only from a voyeur's point of view. We want to see photos and Hollywood paparazzi stand a better chance than anyone trying to get near Fort Miraval.
Angelina: Brad reportedly picked up the wedding bands in November and a marriage licence in LA at the start of March, giving them a 90-day window to get married. Guests have been told to keep the week after the Cannes film festival free, so all signs point to the end of May.
Jennifer: Although the big day was initially rumoured to be around the couple's anniversary in May, since Jen's filming finished on March 8, guests have been put on high alert for a 'Jenvitation' phone call announcing the time and place.
VERDICT: Angelina. Guests need a bit of notice to fret over outfits and gifts.
Angelina: Regardless of her red-carpet pedigree, Ange has poor wedding form. For her wedding to actor Jonny Lee Miller in 1996, she donned rubber trousers and a T-shirt with his name written on it in her blood.
In 2000, she wore jeans for her Vegas nuptials to actor Billy Bob Thornton. Hopefully third time will be a charm, with the mum of six tipped to wear a dress by L'Wren Scott, a designer who "understands her body".
Jennifer: She wore a stunning, glass-beaded silk and satin Lawrence Steele gown and ivory Manolo Blahniks at her wedding to Brad in 2000.
This time around, it's expected to be Valentino (whose crimson gown Jen wore to the Oscars this year) doing the honours. Like Anne Hathaway, who also had her wedding gown designed by the 80-year-old and had it tinted pink, Jen's unlikely to go for white – opting instead for romantic blush.
VERDICT: Cover-girl Jen will be the one we'd like to look like; leg show-off Angie will be the one we're talking about.
Angelina: Brad and Ange have been emphatic that their wedding is all about family so expect Maddox (11), Pax (nine), Zahara (eight), Shiloh (six), Vivienne and Knox (both four), Brad's parents Jane and William, Angelina's dad, Jon Voight, and her brother, James Haven, who could be taking maid of honour duties.
Brad's party-loving pal George Clooney also looks likely to get in, with Brad saying "he can show people to their seats or something".
Jennifer: Courteney Cox, Chelsea Handler, Reese Witherspoon, Emily Blunt, Ben Stiller, Tobey Maguire, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi.
Singer Adele might put in an appearance after bumping into pal Jen on the Oscars red carpet. Brad's mum, Jane, who Jen remained close to post split, is also rumoured to have made the cut.
Controversially, Jen's own mum, Nancy, who wasn't asked to the last one, is on the list. According to a source quoted in femalefirst.co.uk: "Theroux believes strongly in family values and has managed to convince Aniston that, despite their differences in the past, her mother deserves a wedding invitation."
VERDICT: At this point, Jen's notching up more A-listers, but it would be fun to see how Clooney copes with a full day of the Jolie-Pitt kids.
THE 'WHERE WILL WE SEAT THEM?' GUESTLIST
Angelina: Despite admitting he doesn't get out of town much, Angie's ex, Billy Bob Thornton, says he'd be "more than happy" to go to his former wife's wedding, and would even stretch to a gift card.
Jennifer: In a group as publicity shy as Jen's fiercely loyal friends and family, just where do you sit an inquisitive documentary maker like Justin's cousin Louis Theroux?
VERDICT: Draw. The idea of Billy Bob dancing with Brad's ultra-conservative mum or Chelsea Handler hooking up with Louis Theroux are equally entertaining prospects.
THE PERSONAL TOUCH TO MAKE US GO 'AWW'
Angelina: They've composed their own vows and are considering having a special motif, comprised of their vows and children's names entwined in leaves, inked on to them by a tattoo artist.
Jennifer: Jen gave a thumbs-down to getting a 'Justin' tattoo (her only body-art is in homage to her dead dog, Norman), but she is taking his name.
Verdict: We're not keen on Jen changing her name but Angelina's many, many tattoos no longer hold any interest.
WILL IT HAPPEN?
Angelina: From 2006, when an Italian paper said the pair were tying the knot on Lake Como, to last Christmas when they'd supposedly wed in secret in the Turks and Caicos Islands, there have been seven reported Brangelina 'weddings'.
But having the rings, the licence and their friends the right side of the pond after Cannes surely adds credence to the notion that the date is set for May.
Jennifer: The amount of stonewalling by Team Aniston (normally outspoken Chelsea Handler has been positively catatonic of late) suggests something's afoot. The couple also recently completed a three-day marriage bootcamp (including scream therapy, counselling and couples' massage) in readiness to start married life rid of any problems.
Verdict: Draw. Insiders all seem certain both couples are ready to go.
Jen. As much as the Brangelina wedding is sure to be amazing, after being the poster girl for 'unlucky in love' singletons for so many years, it's Jen that we're really dying to see walk down the aisle.