Posh Party Syndrome
Best wishes: Charlie Williams shows off his fifth brithday pictures with his mum Emma and brother Luan
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Rice Krispie cakes, musical bumps and a piece of cake to bring home? It's not enough any more. Not if you want to top the competitive parent stakes. These days you have to shell out for expensive entertainers and caterers or have a lavish themed event. But some Irish parents are starting to fight back.
Extravagant children's parties have hit the headlines recently. Brooklyn Beckham's fifth birthday party at the couple's Hertfordshire mansion cost a reputed ?10,000 and included champagne for the parents, a giant marquee, a DJ, a magic show and children's entertainers.
But it's not just celebrities getting in on the act. In one London school, a pirate fancy-dress costume was handed out along with the invitation to every child in the class. They were asked to wear the costume to the party and to bring a pirate-themed present.
In America, there is even a competition for the Most Original Party Ideas and one past winner spent six months planning her two-year-old's 'puppy party' with a life-sized kennel for toddlers to crawl into. Another mother hired a limo to transport her daughter and assorted friends to and from her 13th birthday party.
According to a recent Virgin Money survey, half of UK parents are suffering from 'Posh Party Syndrome', admitting that they feel under pressure to compete with other parents. They found the average birthday party now costs ?273 - and that's excluding presents and venue hire. And another recent survey found that over 50 per cent of parents are spending over a week's wages on their children's parties, with 70 per cent saying they invite more than 16 children.
So do Irish parents buy into all this party mayhem? They most certainly do! Renting out the local parish hall for a disco, complete with DJ and lights is now de rigueur for any teenager. And there are now dozens of companies catering for the lucrative party market. One of the more unusual is Artzone who offer qualified art teachers who will come to your home and do arts and crafts with children. Their rates start at ?14 per child and you can also order Artzone party bags and t-shirts. And for ?50 you get an extra hour of party games thrown in.
Professionally printed invitations are becoming popular, as are themed party decorations and accessories. Online shop Little Star Parties, based in Leitrim, sells pinatas and party-bag favourites like fortune-telling fish, scented gel pens and yo-yos. It also provides disposable helium tanks to go with the themed balloons. There are costumes for all ages from the rather cute 'Indian Bunting' for babies, right up to the 'Mega Star' outfit for any budding Beyoncé.
Gymboree promise "high energy entertainment" parties at your home, costing from ?150 per hour. And party specialists, Silly Billy, are in such demand that some children have to hold their parties at rather strange times of the day. One parent decided to hold her party at 10 in the morning to secure her entertainer of choice. Silly Billy offer a range of themed parties from pop stars to pirates and charge from ?180 for an hour's specialised entertainment.
But last month saw the launch of Birthdays Without Pressure, a group set up to combat the rise of competitive parties. They found that parents feel increasingly stressed at having to throw big, showy and expensive birthday parties for their children, and are starting to crack under the stress.
Some Irish parents are also fighting back and firmly believe in fighting the one-up party rot. Montessori teacher and mum of two, Emma Williams, is a big fan of do-it-yourself parties for her active boys, Luan, 9 and Charlie, 5, and their equally lively friends.
"We held Luan's last party in mum and dad's garden," she explains. "They all loved it and they want to go back there this year. We had a tea party on rugs. I did a treasure hunt and they played hide and seek and soccer."
Emma made a lot of the food herself, keeping it simple with burgers and chips. Going-home presents - soccer ball key rings - came courtesy of her sister, who's a sales rep for a sports company.
"If you don't have access to a big garden, you could always use the local park or beach," Emma suggests. "And you could at least make a cake. How hard is it to put icing on a swiss roll?"
Vanessa O'Loughlin, Director of Inkwell Writer's Workshops and mother of Sophie, 6, and Sam, 2, thinks that parents have got far too competitive when it comes to birthday parties.
"Recently Sophie came home with a T-shirt with her name on it as part of her party bag. There's definitely a competitive element. The problem is the children have come to expect a lot happening at the parties - an entertainer, a bouncy castle..."
For her daughter, Sophie's sixth birthday party she decided to do something different. She created her own Narnia in the front room, complete with Christmas trees, fur coats hanging down from the ceiling, and painted 'wardrobe' double doors. "It was a lot of work, but worth the effort. They loved it."
This year she has planned a pony party for four of Sophie's horse-mad best friends, including a pony ride for each of them and lunch in a real tack room. "It'll be ?40 a head," she admits. "But it's worth it."
She thinks many parents go the play-centre route due to lack of time and energy.
"When you bring them out there's no mess - a nice tidy house to come home to!"
The most expensive party she's come across is one that cost a whopping ?625, bringing 25 girls to Junior Chef in Blackrock at ?25 per head. She reckons ?200-?300 is an acceptable amount to spend on your child's party.
Novelist Suzanne Higgins, who has four daughters between the ages of two and nine, knows only too well how weekends can be disrupted by the never-ending run of parties.
"We used to spend our time driving around dropping them off and collecting them. Now we've banned parties on a Sunday, as that's our family day."
Suzanne and some other inventive Mount Anville mums came up with a novel birthday idea. Saskia, 8, shared her party with four other girls from her class. All the mums brought the five girls and all their friends to Dundrum for a pizza and to see a movie. They had a shared cake, and a star, with each girl's name in a point of the star. It worked wonderfully; both the mums and the kids were delighted.
This year Suzanne is planning on asking some local teenage girls to do make-up and dress-up at another of her girl's parties. She's also a fan of slumber parties.
"Not expensive, but a lot of work! We bake buns and they get party bags filled with bits from Penneys. Children really don't need a lot."
Suzanne thinks the gift of time is the most precious thing we can give our children. And she's probably right.
Sarah Webb's new book, When the Boys are Away, is published on March 2
Artzone: www.artzone-ireland.com Gymboree: www.playandmusic.ie Little Star Parties: www.littlestarparties.ie Silly Billy Events: www.sillybillylearning.com Birthdays Without Pressure: www.birthdayswithout
pressure.org
