I should be so literary...
When we think of Kylie Minogue, we're more likely to think of those gold hotpants than cosy children's stories. But come September, the diminutive pop superstar can add children's author to her list of accomplishments.
This month it was announced that Puffin will publish her book, Showgirl Princess, which she wrote while undergoing treatment for breast cancer, and while it is not autobiographical, it is about Kylie and will feature pictures of her (although probably not one of her in the gold shorts).
Her publishers are remaining tight-lipped, saying the book "will appeal to little princesses everywhere who love to have fun" and that "little girls who dream of dressing up and going on stage" will enjoy it.
But while it may seem incongruous for the Australian sexpot to write a children's book, Kylie is a relative latecomer to the world of celebrities writing books for children and there is a long list of those who have already successfully tried their hand at it.
Madonna is one of the biggest success stories and her literary efforts have been better received than her attempts at acting (her first book was published in 100 countries and translated into 30 languages).
She has written five books for children so far, all of which contain strong moral messages and multiracial and denominational characters, as well as being beautifully illustrated. Her debut, English Roses, tells the story of a young, lonely girl who is isolated by some classic 'mean girls', while Lotsa de Casha tells the story of a rich man looking for happiness.
Ricky Gervais, the creator of The Office, has also turned his hand to writing books for children with his Flanimals series. The books are encyclopaedias of imaginary animals and monsters that Gervais initially created to keep a nephew of his entertained.
It's not just actors and singers that have got in on the act either. Supermodel Sophie Dahl wrote The Man With the Dancing Eyes in 2003, a fairytale that tells the story of Pierre, who has her heart broken by a painter and moves to New York to get over it. Hardly of the same imaginative calibre of her grandfather Roald Dahl's children's classics, which include Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach, but it's fairly harmless reading all the same.
It seems everyone who's anyone has written at least one book for children, from the director Spike Lee to Dick Cheney's wife Lynne to Sarah Ferguson. Halloween actor Jamie Lee Curtis is another huge success story when it comes to her children's books, which include the charming Where Do Balloons Go?, which tells the story of a little boy who loses his balloon and then imagines the many different adventures the balloon might have.
Sarah Ferguson is said to have written Budgie The Little Helicopter after taking helicopter lessons herself and has scored some substantial success with the character of Budgie, who lives in an airfield. The cheeky chopper has become a worldwide franchise with television spin-offs.
So writing books for children can be a lucrative process too, but do these stories have what it takes to become the stuff of classics? Will they go on to comprise some of the wonderful memories adults have of their favourite children's books?
Perhaps, they don't quite have the same clout as CS Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia or the Harry Potter books and they're not likely to appear on the Irish Independent's current collection of 'Children's Classics' any time soon, but surely anything that encourages children to read, whether it's a book by their favourite pop star or not, is a good thing?
Herbie Brennan, author of the Faerie Wars and The Purple Emperor (among some 90 other books), thinks it depends on the quality of the book.
"To my mind, if a celebrity writes a good book, I think that's brilliant because the name means it will reach a wider audience than before. If it's a bad book, I think the publisher should be ashamed of themselves, because then it's just a commercial proposition," Herbie says.
As for whether he thinks celebrities who turn their hands to writing books have an unfair advantage over other children's authors, Brennan says: "Good luck to them. They've earned their celebrity. I'd hate to be followed by hordes of paparazzi so it doesn't upset me."
A big message with a little magic dust
Alex Howard (4), from Bray, Co Wicklow, reads 'The English Roses' by Madonna
Alex Howard adores books and some of her favourites include 'The Gruffalo' and 'I Love Ballet'. Alex will appear in the Olympia in May as part of the National Performing Arts School. Alex is already a fan of both Madonna's books and her music and one of her favourites is Madonna's 'Lotsa de Casha'.
When Georgina Walsh, Alex's mother, read 'The English Roses' with Alex last week, it brought up an unexpected issue.
"I think there's always a big message in the Madonna books," says Georgina. "'The English Roses' sparked this conversation about death and Alex is four years old! She said, 'Are you going to die?' and I said, no. Then she said, 'but you're going to get old and die.' Death stopped us in the middle of reading for a good 10 minutes. I ended up promising I won't die," she says, laughing.
With the existentialist angst out of the way, they could get on with reading the rest of the book.
"The point of the story was the girl was very beautiful and there was this group, the English Roses, who didn't want to be friends and they judged her by the way she looked. They went on to discover she didn't have a happy life, she had to clean the house, and they realised they'd never want to swap their lives for her beauty.
"I asked Alex did she like these girls and she said, 'I think they're nice, they look beautiful.' I think she did realise they were being mean at some point, but mainly Alex couldn't believe the little girl had to do all the cleaning and cooking.
"She said, 'I wouldn't know how to make the dinner.'
"The pictures were bright and vibrant and would appeal to girls. It's a story about girls, they're all pretty with long hair and dresses, which Alex likes.
"And there's a fairy godmother and she throws magic dust in there, which is essential. The book has all the key elements."
The inside story on 'cool' mad monsters
Dylan McGinty (4), from Co Wicklow, reads 'More Flanimals' by Ricky Gervais
Dylan McGinty is a big book fan and like most little boys, his favourite topics include dinosaurs and dragons. One of his favourite books is The Gruffalo and he is a fan of many of Gruffalo author Axel Scheffler's other books too. "That would be his favourite type of book," says Dylan's mother, Valerie Walsh.
The work is an encyclopaedia of monsters and the characters were originally developed by Ricky Gervais as a way to keep his nephew entertained.
"Dylan was looking at all the monsters and every single page we turned, he said they were 'cool' and then the next page they were 'great'. Some of them were explained more simply and some of them even I didn't understand," she says, laughing.
"Dylan's favourite one is 'Squat', a spider-like monster, because it was 'crazy and mad and scary'."
Did he find the monsters a little too scary?
"He knows they're not real so he doesn't get too scared."
Valerie found the variety and amount of monsters excellent for igniting her son's imagination.
"He loved looking at every picture and every single picture is completely different. The creativity put into it is amazing. How he thought of them all, there's so many different types."
One of the good things about the books, says Valerie, is the fact that it introduces young readers to the concept of bodies having internal organs and a skeleton.
"There are monsters without their skin and it introduces them, in that it might show one with his head missing so you can see his brain or with its stomach missing so you see its intestines. There's one that shows just a skeleton. When Dylan saw this one, he started talking about dinosaurs and he wanted to go to the museum to see them."
